>A few days ago, I was having a conversation with some friends about absurd characters in Superhero comics, more specifically, from Marvel. You see, I have an odd fascination with oddball characters being mixed-in with supposed serious characters. Anyway, the conversation turned to characters who are completely outclassed by the villains that they deal with. For example, during World War Hulk, Iron Man tried to take on The Hulk, one-on-one in this brand new Hulkbuster armor. For those not in the know, the Hulkbuster armor is designed specifically to deal with the Hulk. Anyway, so the Hulk shows up, and wipes the floor with Iron Man within a few pages of that issue, and to add insult to injury, Hulk destroys Stark Tower with Iron Man’s body. That was hilarious to me, mostly because I’ve never cared much for Iron Man, but also because Tony Stark was just so outclassed it was ridiculous. But this was the sort of thing we were talking about, which eventually led to me bringing up Squirrel Girl.

Squirrel Girl’s abilities as a mutant are as follows: Sharp claw/nails that help her climb things, buck teeth than can chew through wood, she has the mutant standard enhanced agility and strength, retractable spikes that come out of her knuckles, a prehensile fluffy tail, and most importantly; the ability to speak to squirrels. So, she’s clearly an Omega level Mutant, right? Well Maybe not with those powers, but… She also has this other ability… This ability makes her so powerful that she should be on more team lists than Wolverine. This ability is that she… Well, she just can’t lose. There’s a scan of a comic panel that I’ll post at the end of this blog to solidify this claim, but for now, I’m going to talk about some of her other victories…

During her first appearance, Squirrel Girl attempted to become Iron Man’s sidekick at the young age of 14. Stark was unimpressed. Then, out of nowhere, Dr. Doom shows up in a massive aircraft and attacks them. He then captures Iron Man and Squirrel Girl (she snuck on board) and takes them on a ride to their doom. lol. But seriously, he was planning on killing Iron Man then dropping him in the ocean to dispose of the body. During the trip, Doom flies over a forest and miraculously though an open air vent, Squirrel Girl communicates to hundreds of squirrels who jump into the aircraft and chew on the machinery and attack Doom head on, making Doom say something truly hilarious. Anyway, the aircraft crashes, Dr. Doom is defeated, Iron Man is freed, and then everyone goes their separate ways. Hooray!

After this, Squirrel Girl isn’t used again for a number of years until she randomly pops up auditioning for the Great Lake Avengers. During this time her primary squirrel sidekick, Monkey Joe, is killed… So she gets another one, this one named, Tippy-Toe. She then goes on to defeat MODOK, Terrax, and a few other notable villains. But the thing is, she is rarely used in any kind of real capacity. But I suppose when you have a character who is pretty much a comical deus ex machina, it kinda ruins any credible writing that you’ve been doing. But then, why keep her around if you aren’t going to use her? Remember M-Day? The day when Scarlet Witch uttered the words, “No more mutants.” The day when Marvel cleaned house and limited the number of mutants from millions to a registered 198, with about 100 more roaming around unknown. So if she survived the cut, why isn’t Marvel doing anything with her? But if I were Tony Stark, I would’ve tried my best to recruit her to the top of the SHIELD initiative and make her my Number 2. I mean, considering their history, you’d think he’d have thought of that… Maybe some things would’ve gone differently… But in the end, we are just talking about comics, so its not that big of a deal… So yeah, here’s to Squirrel Girl, easily the greatest hero Marvel has to offer… But before I go, I failed to mention the victory that makes her Number 1 in my book… There is some controversy over this win, but that wasn’t until way after the fact… But even with the idea that this she defeated a perfect clone, really doesn’t change anything at all, seeing as a perfect clone is essentially just the same as the original. But that’s enough stalling. Marvel fans know that when it comes to villains, there aren’t too many out there that rank higher than Thanos… But it seems that no one told Squirrel Girl. Until next time.

-Flee

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