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(spoiler alert)

WTF. I think that is the only way I can sum up Giant-Size Wolverine Old Man Logan, the long awaited conclusion to the Old Man Logan story-line. Since the beginning, I’ve gone back and fourth on what I’ve thought about the series, but seriously- WTF. In this issue it is revealed that in the future Hulk mates with She-Hulk, Bruce Banner’s first cousin Jennifer Walters, because she is the only one “who could take the damn pace!” They have a veritable army of idiotic inbred gamma-radiated children who kill Wolverine’s family for game. Then Wolverine spends the whole issue killing everything in sight, including a completely innocent cow, to avenge his slaughtered kin. When he finally takes on Bruce Banner he gets eaten alive and later bursts out of his stomach (à la Alien) to finish the kill. Finally, garbed in a cowboy hat, Wolverine takes Banner’s last radiated infant (à la Lone Wolf and Cub) and rides off into the sunset to end the reign of the super-villains. I feel like I just read a plot from Real Ultimate Power.

I don’t really know what I was expecting from the series. I was trying not to take it too seriously. By the halfway point of Old Man Logan, I even decided writer Mark Millar was basically making a glorified What If? story. So I tried to take the whole thing at face value and enjoy it for all its gore-filled symbiotic alien dinosaur goodness. However, since this outlandish story is suppose to tie into actually Marvel continuity, I say WTF.

How on earth does this fit into Marvel continuity?! For Wolverine to have killed off all of the X-Men, which is the reason he has taken a pacifist lifestyle in Old Man Logan, that would erase all the events of House of M, Civil War and all the following events in the Marvel universe. Throughout the rest of the series, it’s filled with editorial changes that work only for this specific story. For instance, apparently Bruce Banner has the strength of the Hulk even when he is in his normal human form. When did this change happen?! Yeah, it looks cool when Steve McNiven draws crazy old Banner bash Wolverine 50-feet, but that’s about it.

Now I’m getting all worked up and I promised myself I wouldn’t. If you want to read Old Man Logan approach it like an abrasively violent What If? story and nothing more. Otherwise, you’re going to be yelling WTF the whole time. Well, actually, you’ll probably be yelling WTF either way.

-Jon

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