Love and wedding are on my mind lately, especially since I’m due to get hitched here in less than a week. In our previous episode, I brought you my top 5 best comic couples. In this installment, I bring you the dark side of love and romance to bring you the top 5 worst comic book couples of all time.
5.Cyclops & Jean Grey (X-Men) Say what you want about my selection of these two on this list. When you think about it, their relationship is pretty messed up. Scott married and had a baby with a clone of Jean, he gets all whiny and self doubting whenever they’re an item, and lets face it, Jean could do better. Scott Summers with Emma Frost wins. They make each other better people. Scott with Jean is downright toxic.
4.Matt Murdock &… anyone (Daredevil) At first glance, Matt Murdock is a sly pimp who gets all the chicks. And then there’s the matter of what happens to the poor women who are unfortunate enough to develop a relationship with him. One becomes a notorious assassin, one becomes a crackhead porn star, and ultimately other woman can’t compete with his self-destructive tendencies, and Catholic guilt issues.
3.Morpheus & Nada (the Sandman) These two hooked up back in prehistoric times as a beautiful princess fell in love with a anthropomorphic immortal demi-god. Of course, if you should spurn an anthropomorphic demi-god, he won’t just break up with you, he’ll lock you away in hell for all eternity.
2.Hank Pym (aka Ant Man, Giant Man, Yellow Jacket) & Janet Van Dyne (the Wasp) Two words: wife beater. That ain’t cool Hank. Whether it’s the main Marvel universe, or the Ultimate universe. Hank Pym is an awful, awful spouse abuser.
1. Reed Richards & Sue Richards (Fantastic Four) I feel bad for the Invisible Woman. She has the most neglectful, unintentionally emotionally abusive spouse in all of comics. Deep down, you know Reed loves her, but it seems like his obsession with super-science trumps emotional attachments. No wonder Sue feels invisible at times.
I am interested to know if any of you out there can think up anymore cases of tainted love. Until next time, I’ll see you same Jim-time, same Jim-channel.
-Jim
Both comments and pings are currently closed.
One of my favorite bookstores in St. Louis. Star Clipper offers not only the best selection of comic books and graphic novels in the city, but also a cornucopia of art, design and pop-culture related books and magazines. 
1) Morpheus and anyone (Sandman) – All of Morpheus’ relationships end badly. He should really learn to adhere to the whole Endless + Mortal = no no rule. While some weren’t as bad as others (Morpheus + Calliope were ok, except that it indirectly led to well… the conclusion of the series) none of them ended with both parties on amicable terms.
2) Al Simmons and Wanda Simmons/Fitzgerald (Spawn) – This match up was entirely orchestrated by Hell in order to create the greatest soldier they’ve ever had, it was doomed to be a horrible relationship for both of them from before either of them were born. His love for her caused him to sell his soul and live a life of eternal torment as someone who looks like a member of Arseface’s family tree. He constantly brings danger to her doorstep in his afterlife, from mafia thugs, to metaphysical monstrosities. She constantly spurns any attempt he makes at reconnecting with her causing him more emotional pain. He selectively forgot all the horrible things he did to her in his mortal life. It’s an endless cycle of misery, pain, and anguish for the both of them. Al would’ve been better off forgetting Wanda and sticking with Angela or Nyx
3) Beast and Jean Grey (X-Men Forever) – When these two started to hit it off in X-Men Forever I had an \lolwut\ moment. Seriously? Another member to the already boring \many people that love Jean triangle\ (although I guess it wouldn’t be a triangle anymore if it had more than three people, but I digress). There was no need to increase the number of Jean’s many suitors. Cyclops and Wolverine were more than enough for me, I didn’t need the additions of Prof X in the Ultimate universe or Beast in the X-Men Forever-verse.
4) Snow White and Bigby (Fables) – I dunno if there’s a big Bigby + Snow fanbase out there and if there is, this will probably anger them, but I personally hate that the two of them are married with children now. I enjoyed they’re early flirtations and such and if the relationship had been given a longer time to grow, I probably would’ve enjoyed it. But with the events of the third story arc everything was pretty rushed. I didn’t like that they had to give up their positions in Fabletown, and I think they’ve gotten significantly more boring since their marriage and the birth of the children. While their decrease in panel time may give other interesting characters time to grow, these two were my favorites at the beginning of the series, and I just don’t like the position their in now.