When I was thinking about which comic I would pick to be adapted into a film I was a little stumped. Fleet suggested I pick Fear Agent since I’m constantly singing it’s praises, but I think Rick Remender’s space western would be better fit for a intentionally campy television series. Still at a crossroads about my decision, all was revealed to me this morning when I looked at my kitchen wall and the comic movie that needs to be made was right in front of me. Hanging above my microwave surrounded be Godzilla figures is a signed and numbered print of Daniel Clowes’ “Like A Velvet Glove Cast In Iron.” Anyone who’s read this surreal graphic novel knows that it goes without question that “Like A Velvet Glove…” is the perfect story to be adapted by David Lynch.

Clowes’ adapted movie work has quite literally been hit or miss. “Ghost World” being the hit. “Art School Confidential” being the miss. However, if adapted my the right director ( That being David Lynch), I’m confident “Like A Velvet Glove…” could also being a hit at least in the art house circuit. There really isn’t anything like this Clowes early graphic novel. Even trying to describe the plot is hard to do, much like a David Lynch film. A quick explantation would simply be that lead character Clay Loudermilk is searching for his estranged wife, Barbara Allen, whom he sees in a porno movie. Simple enough plot I guess, but that doesn’t account for the strange fish-like girl who falls in love with Clay, the man with shrimp tales coming out of his eye-sockets, or the dog with no head. That’s where David Lynch comes in to make the plausible seemingly implausible. Though I think Lynch would be best for the project, I also think director Jim Jarmusch could give him a run for his money.

As for casting, I could see Steve Buscemi reprising his role as a Clowes character and playing Clay Loudermilk. He always good at a sweaty, nervous oddball. However, if Hollywood would want to cast a more handsome leading man, I also think John Hamm could play a strong version of Clowes’ neurotic lead. If John Hamm played the lead his connection to St. Louis could easily land a screening at the Tivoli Theatre with a possible meet and greet appearance. That would certainly be exciting. Just think of a cerebral episode of AMC’s “Mad Men” where that rascally, old Don Draper is being asked to fertilize the eggs of a sickly fish-like girl on the bed of a hotel. That’s a comic movie I’d see!

-Jon

John Ostrander and Tim Truman’s Grimjack is one of the meanest comic books to come out of the 80s. It began as classic noir with a science fiction backdrop but quickly matured into a bleak satire on modern life with frequent forays into the philosophical implications of impending mortality. John Gaunt, a.k.a. Grimjack, is an ex-gladiator, ex-wizard, ex-cop, ex-soldier, current mercenary and bona fide senior citizen who brings death to every one he loves — sometimes he’s even the one who kills his loved ones, but however it plays out, he’s always bad news. He drinks oceans of rotgut, he smokes constantly, he swears and he lives in a bar — all of that almost makes up for his penchant for Highland bonnets, but let’s allow an old man his eccentricities.

Grimjack looks and reads like it was tailor-made to be transformed into a big-budget, special effects spectacular. Much of that is down to Truman’s depiction of Cynosure, the setting for every story. Cynosure is a multidimensional node, meaning all the many dimensions of creation manifest in Cynosure on a predictable schedule. This allows Cynosure to grow wealthy as a glorified trading post, since everywhere comes to it at some point. It’s populated by aliens, freaks, punks, geeks, gigolo unicorns, talking beavers, the hyper-wealthy and a great seething underclass.

Using contemporary (early 80s) Chicago as the bones of the city, Truman added a musculature of science fiction and fantasy elements — massive skyscrapers, floating pyramids, space ports, dragons — larded it with filth and then covered it in a skin of graffiti. High technology works in some parts of the city, magic works in others, gods and demons rub shoulders with sentient bats, and everyday schlubs just have to deal with it all. Cynosure looked lived in and dirty, and it was as much a character in the comic as it was a setting.

The two-legged supporting cast was just as interesting and flawed. BlacJacMac is Gaunt’s smooth-talkin’ former partner in the gladiator pits (he bears a striking resemblance to late-70s Isaac Hayes and is married to a goddess), Roscoe is his dwarfish former cop partner and occasionally his current partner — when he’s not trying to run Gaunt in for various crimes, Gordon is the regular guy who runs Munden’s Bar (Grimjack’s home) and has a tangled history with his boss, and then there’s Bob the watchlizard.

He’s as hard-drinkin’ as ol’ Grimjack and smokes more, and he’s just as heartbroken. Nobody knows why he latched on to Gaunt, but he’s all Bob has so the lizardgator stays — and drinks, and smokes and sings when he’s really depressed.

As mentioned earlier, Ostrander’s stand-alone, hard-boiled stories of betrayal and general nastiness gave way to larger story arcs. The first of these, The Trade Wars, concerned the ultra-wealthy warring openly in the streets and affiliated dimensions for greater profits, while Mayfair (leader of the city’s secret police force, Cadre, and Gaunt’s former boss) attempts to set up former gladiator Dancer (Gaunt’s mentor in the arena) as the city’s ultimate tyrant. A political thriller that also involves massive, multi-dimensional battles between alien factions, and a small group of hard-bitten, tough-talking soldiers-of-fortune who have conflicting loyalties to ex-employers and friends — yeah, that’s a good, solid basis for a film.

Of course, as with most comic books in this modern age, there’s industry talk of a Grimjack movie — and there has been for almost two decades. It may never happen, in which case I direct you to IDW Publishing’s The Legend of Grimjack Volume 4, which features the entire Trade Wars saga. (Digression: Have you ever noticed that “Volume 4” of anything is always epic? Black Sabbath’s “Vol. 4,” Led Zeppelin’s “IV,” “Star Wars: A New Hope” — what is it about volume 4s?) Be warned that Truman left the book just before the actual Trade Wars began, and his replacement, Tom Sutton, had neither the feel for Cynosure nor a very good understanding of forced perspective. John Ostrander is a great enough writer to overcome mediocre art, however, but while you’re out there looking for Volume 4, you should probably consider the first three volumes of that series, which are all Truman.

-Paul

Well… We sorta succeeding in doing another themed blog. Starting with Paul’s from last week and following through into this week. Now, when I first received the email from Paul about what comic I’d like to see made into a movie, I had to really sit down and think for awhile. You see, the majority of the comic films that I’d like to see have already been made, or are in the process of being made. So, that left me with a serious problem. What the hell do I want to see? About a week later, it hit me. Proof. I want to see Proof turned into a major motion picture.

So what is Proof? I’m glad I asked for you. You see, Proof is the story of a Sasquatch who works for a Secret Government Agency that is tasked with the capturing and protection of cryptids, which include such beauties as the Cottingley Fairies, the Dover Demon, dinosaurs and dodo birds. The idea is, John “Proof” Prufrock (the Sasquatch) was discovered by Lewis and Clark in 1805 and raised by former President of the United States, Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson taught Proof how to be classy. As a result, you’ll often notice that Proof is one of the best dressed characters in his comic or any other for that matter. Anyway, the story follows Proof on a mission of self discovery. Is he the last of his kind? Proof is often found reviewing the famed Patterson-Gimlin footage of Bigfoot in an attempt to find clues of others of his kind. At the beginning of the series, Proof is given a partner, a young FBI agent named Ginger Brown, who recently had a run-in with a Golem during a bank robbery. Together, they go on an assortment of X-Files-inspired adventures across the globe as they bring justice to those who are involved in the cryptid world.

Sounds awesome, right? It was one of the few Image titles to bring something new to the table in such a long time. So what’s the hold up? Why hasn’t this been optioned yet? I don’t know, but… What I do know is who I’d like to be in the movie. For starters, Keith David (The Thing, Requiem for a Dream) would be my choice for Proof. He has a booming voice, and he’s a pretty tall actor to begin with, which is a plus in this case. I say we give the man some height extensions in is costume and cast the rest of the movie kinda short, and we have a winner here. For the Latina FBI agent Ginger, I’d go with America Ferrera (Ugly Betty, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants). The woman has some range that I feel most folks have ignored. But then, I’d put her in just about any movie to be honest. And for the small town sheriff, Elvis Aaron Chestnut, I’d have gone with Bruce Campbell if this were being made 15-20 years ago, but that just might be the fanboy in me. I think that if the guy could gain about 30 pounds and grew some thick sideburns, Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder, Sorcerer’s Apprentice) would make for a good choice. I got faith in the man. However, Jim made the suggestion that I include David Duchovny (X-Files, Californication) in the cast. I also think that he’d make for a good Elvis as well. It would be a nice treat for the fans of his Sci-Fi work, and I’d welcome it as well. But, Baruchel is still my top choice.

As for a director? My top pick would be Neill Blomkamp (District 9). Sure, he’s pretty fresh in the major films department, but from the few things that I have seen of his work, he has a good eye for a franchise like this. Plus, he’s good at stretching a budget and not having the result look like a pile of crap. I could see a solid trilogy of movies made out of the comic, and hey, it only ran for 28 issues, so its not like you’d have to cut a lot of content to make a trilogy work. If the special effects work went something like 70/30 for practical/computer generated, I wouldn’t frown. “Real” effects are almost always better than “computer effects”, so yeah. Sounds good to me. And that’s it for today…See ya next time.

“This summer, it’s going to get hot… as Hell!”

C’mon, tell me that wouldn’t make for a great tagline for a Hellstorm (aka the Son of Satan) movie.

When I started thinking about comic books that I’d like to see made into a movie, I ran into the problem of most everything I’d like to see having already been made, or I’d rather not see them made into a movie. However, I wouldn’t mind seeing a Hellstorm movie. It would have to be titled Hellstorm since “Son of Satan” would obviously stir up more controversy than would be desired.

Fleet has suggested to me that Chris Pine should play Daimon Hellstrom, aka the Son of Satan, aka Hellstorm, and I could certainly see that working. I automatically would have it set here in St. Louis where the character spent a significant amount of time in the 70’s as a professor of anthropology at the fictional Gateway University. I would have this be an element of the film: professor by day, supernatural investigator by night when his hell-spawned powers are used to fight the forces of darkness thrown at him by his father, Satan, while delving into his eventful birth in Salem Massachusetts throughout the film.

I would not recommend retaining the costume he wore in the 70’s however, I could see the film version sporting a dark suit and black trenchcoat, perhaps a noticeable change in his facial structure when he goes into full demon-mode wielding his Hellish trident. The atmosphere should be more like a suspenseful horror movie, and a demonic detective story. Let’s not go too over the top. I’d say the films climactic scene could certainly be a duel to the death on the arch-grounds between him and his fathers highest –ranking lieutenant since you really can never get rid of the devil.

This is a film I’d like to see directed by David Lynch, who I think could bring his unique sense of atmosphere, and could handle such dark subject matter without making it corny and unoriginal. I get a little tired of the action/superhero formula sometimes, so it would be refreshing to see an art-house take on a Marvel movie.

-Jim