[GROUP OF PILGRIMS]

Sorry for the mopey pilgrims up there, but after blithely Googling Power Girl images, I needed to see something both chaste and sad.

And this is a sad week for me, as I not only bid farewell to a comic I had once greatly enjoyed, I snubbed a book I had recently resumed reading. “Why?,” you cry to the heavens as you beat your breast with both fists Gorilla Grodd style. “Why drop two comics in one week?” I’ll tell you why in the next sentence.

[THE DEAD BROAD REPRESENTS MY PG FANDOM]

Judd Winick knows sweet FA about writing a comic book as far as I’m concerned. Now, on the surface, that’s a ridiculous statement. Judd Winick writes comics professionally, and I do not. Judd Winick makes his living on his writing, and I sell pencils from an unlicensed stand on the bad side of Ladue — that’s right, the factory section of Ladue. I usually set up shop right outside the Pointy Pencil Factory, which shows you how little sense I have.

[COME VISIT ME DURING BUSINESS HOURS]

But as foolish as I am, even I know that if you’re writing a book called Power Girl, maybe — just maybe — Power Girl should do something successfully. I mean something more than go to Batman for help solving the mystery of the embezzling accountant (and honestly, who doesn’t love a superhero comic about the perils of white collar crime?), as she does this issue, or call her computer guy Nicco and have him figure out the solution to her problems, as she did in the past two issues. Or maybe she could actually handle someone in a fight instead of waiting for time and circumstance to handle it for her, as she did throughout the whole first Winick arc. Hell, this issue opens with her asking herself “Why, oh why, do I keep getting my ass kicked?”

[BECAUSE JUDD WINICK, THAT’S WHY]

I’ll tell you why: Because Judd Winick is writing you, and that’s kinda his thing. He likes to do the whole, “I’ma tear your whole world apart, strip you down to nothing but broken and bloody and bruised, and then when you’re at your lowest — hey, where’d the readership go? Oh, I’m off this book now? OK.” I’ve dumped many Judd Winick books over the years, but dumping Power Girl is painful only because I knew this was coming four months ago and I suckered myself into thinking it wouldn’t come to this. And yet here we are. Bye, Power Girl. I really enjoyed your first year.

The other book I dropped was Superman/Batman, because guess who wrote it this month? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. No, it was written by Judd Winick, and I wish Frank Stallone had written it because it probably would have come with a flexidisc of a terrible theme song he’d written just for this issue. I saw that name on this month’s cover and I swore — SWORE — in a comic book store. I’d like to formally and publicly apologize to Ben and AJ for my dirty mouth, but &0%%@$$!+ do I dislike the comics of Judd Winick.

[STILL NOT USED TO SHORT SLEEVES ON REED]

You know what made me feel much better though? I immediately read Fantastic Four #583, and even though I apparently missed some big developments in some other connected series (Dr. Doom has brain damage?), I still found this issue to meet the exalted standards Jonathan Hickman has established on his current run. Even though I know it’s Ben Grimm who dies in two issues and that’s going to make me swear in ways that will cause even Urban Dictionary blush, I’m so engrossed in the overall story that I still find myself enjoying the book. And look at all the hints and tidbits Steve Epting has scattered throughout the book: I see an Infinity Gauntlet, and some Celestials, and the desiccated husk of Galactus, and whose giant hand is that in Reed’s laboratory?

[SORRY, THERE WERE NO PREVIEW PANELS STARRING MATH]

I enjoyed Thor 615 less. This is the first issue of the new direction helmed by Matt Fraction, and I can’t say it swept me along in clouds of wonder. Of course, when a sizable chunk of your issue is devoted to having a scientist trying to explain theoretical quantum physics to a well-intentioned dolt, you’ve set yourself a pretty tough row to how. There’s some business with these Glenn Danzig-looking demons invading Alfheim, and Thor gives what’s clearly meant to be a rousing speech but instead sounds more like dialogue from any episode of “Survivor,” and that’s about it. Not a stellar first step, but not terrible. But how about less physics, more Thor next month?

[TREEHOUSE 16]

And now we come to the dark heart of the matter. I haven’t watched the Simpsons in almost ten years, but I make it a point to buy the annual Tree House of Horror comic, and this year’s issue begins and ends with a bang. What if I told you there was a giant irradiated monster story written and drawn by Evan Dorkin, would that be something that interests you? I thought so. Dorkin writes a flat-out hilarious tale that involves everything brilliant about the Simpsons: Professor Frink, Duffman, Burns and Smithers, Comic Book Guy attempting to determine which piece of his valuable collection of crap to save (The Mary Worth! Save the Mary Worth!) and Ralph Wiggum standing next to some Kirby crackle while announcing “The dots burn when you lick them.” And that’s only the first three pages.

[C’MON LEMMY, THAT SEEMS LIKE OVERKILL]

The final story was thunk up a guy you may have heard of — Lemmy Kilmister — and it just so happens to feature Lemmy and the rest of Motorhead. Now, having said that, do I even have to say the rest of it? Doesn’t matter, I’m going to anyway. The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror was the best thing I read this week, and I hope Lemmy finds time to write more comics, especially Power Girl. I think he’s the kinda guy who knows exactly how to treat a busty, superhuman blonde — and the flexidisc that comes with that book will rock your skull.

-Paul

---

Both comments and pings are currently closed.