Remember last week when I was all “Viking viking viking barbarian sword in the guts?” Yeah, guess what fell into my lap this week.
BA-DA-BOOM-DOOM (sound effects provided by Walter Simonson). That’s uru, son. Mjolnir upside your head, you dead. I bought two, one for a nephew’s birthday and one for me because no home is complete without the hammer of Thor.
I also bought comics, because comics are awesome. Let us delve into the inner workings of this week’s titles, because there are some delights in this week’s batch. SMASH OPEN A NEW PARAGRAPH, MJOLNIR.
Hey, Fantastic Four 586. Next month is the death of you-know-who, and despite my hunches and gut feelings, this issue does not appear to drop hints who’s behind the eight ball. OK, actually it drops two huge hints — ahem, *SPOILER ALERT* — it appears to be that Susan is doomed (what?), or else Reed is (huh?). I don’t know that I buy either ruse. Another “clue:” Jonathan Hickman answers letters on the letters page in his own voice again this month, and he reminds several readers that he can make no promises about who will live, mentioning Ben, Sue and Johnny by name, but not Reed. Hmmmm. Oh, and Johnny and Ben are up against it re: Annihilus’ minions, and Reed is racing against time vs. Galactus. So, it could be anybody who gets deadified next month. Place your bets, you have a 25% chance of winning. This issue sure doesn’t feel like the cough before the end of the world, but can you ever hear that coming? I have convinced myself/scared myself into believing it’s Ben who dies. The fact that I use the word “scared” is important; Hickman has rekindled my love for these characters, and I’m legitimately a little sick over the potential death of Benjy. But will I shrug it off if it’s Reed? Heck, no. Same goes for Sue.
Johnny, eh … OK, I’ll feel a little bad, mostly for Franklin; remember a few months back when future-Val asks future-Franklin who his favorite superhero is and he responds immediately with “the Human Torch.” That’s stuck in with me all this time, as if that’s the key moment in this ever-expanding arc. Is that a nephew honoring the ultimate sacrifice of a favorite uncle, or is it just another brilliant and humanizing moment in a great story? Four more weeks and we all know for sure…
Superman/Batman 79 is less world-shaking, but Chris Roberson and Jesus Merino have the beginnings of a pretty good story. Set in the “DC One Million” era, we get a future Batman and future Superman fighting Epoch, the time traveling villain from the past. It’s all new to me, but I love the idea of a robot Robin serving alongside Bats — it’s the ultimate solution to his perpetual “death of everyone close to me” problem. I like the script and the art, especially the vaguely Silver Age feeling of the story. This is a plot that asks no previous knowledge of the reader, other than knowing that Bats is in grey and blue and Supes is in red and blue. It’s a radical idea in this day and age, but I’m down with it. Titling the arc “World’s Finest” is a nice touch, too.
Scratch9 number 3 continues the heroic journey of a cat (Scratch) who is tangled up with an evil scientist and some rescued lab animals while trying to find his missing person, the little girl, Penelope. Scratch manifests three new past lives in this issue: the lazy French cat (D’Argent), the master thespian (Beeslebohm) and the voodoo cat (Writh), and Beeslebohm is the best of them. What can I say, a showboating grandee of a cat who craves attention and applause makes sense to me — I have two cats. Rob Worley and Jason T. Kruse are making a great all-ages book, full of action, heroism and humor, and Scratch himself is lovable because he’s a goofball and he doesn’t have all the answers. There are a couple moments that feel rushed, but I think that sort of rapid-fire storytelling doesn’t seem as jarring to kids as it does adults; they’re used to the world abruptly changing. Also, I’m genuinely interested in finding out who the ninth cat is — we’ve had everything from saber tooth tigers to cyborg cats from the future. If I had to guess, I’d say … cowboy? Maybe. We’ll find out next issue.
Hey, just out of curiosity, do you remember about four weeks ago when I wondered how Dynamite’s Warlord of Mars was going to handle the full-frontal nudity that was in the offing? Issue 3 features 20+ pages of John Carter wearing nothing but an arm band and a strategically-placed leg. It looks awkward sometimes, but it’s not distracting. Lui Antonio makes it work, although John Carter looks a little prettier than I would like — not that there’s anything wrong with that. Antonio’s rendering of a Martian city is excellent, very exotic and dreamlike, and the key scene when Carter kills a Thark (the eight-foot all, four-armed green guys) with one punch is one of those panels that works well because the very next panel reassures you that, yes, that dude is totally dead and not just unconscious. I don’t know if Antonio is a permanent replacement for Stephen Sadowski, but I’d have no complaints if he is. I also have no complaints about how Arvid Nelson is moving things along — in fact, everything I like about the original story is present — but I’m eager for us to get to the point in this tale when Carter is slaying dudes and rescuing ladies. Also, for the record, I feel I must state that once again J. Scott Campbell’s cover is absolutely ridiculous; Deejah Thoris looks awful, uh, aroused about crawling through a desert.
Speaking of awful aroused, Savage Sword 1 came out this week. This is a book I’ve been anticipating for months, and for the most part I’m very happy with how it turned out. Let’s quibble first, praise second. I harbored hope that this would be oversized, like Marvel’s Savage Sword. Also, Mark Finn writes an essay about Robert E. Howard’s adventurer in the East, El Borak, by way of introduction to this lesser-known character. It’s a fine piece of writing illustrated by Tim Bradstreet (who has only gotten better over the years), but why not just start the story? Admittedly, I’ve paid a lot of money over the years to acquire the El Borak stories, so I know who he is, but it’s cruel to tease us with single-panel Bradstreet like this. Especially since these illos are in the new El Borak anthology, which I bought months ago.
Now, the good stuff. We get the first chapter of a Conan story and another for Dark Agnes, REH’s red-haired swordswoman not named Sonja that’s quite good. I have these stories too, and Agnes is pulpy and not as, ah, complex a character as a Conan or a Kull, but highly entertaining. Vengeful women kicking ass — that’s the stuff. The best thing in the book is Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith’s adaptation of the Bran Mak Morn yarn, Worms of the Earth. This is a colorized version of a story that ran in the original Savage Sword more than 30 years ago, and it’s so very, very good that it overshadows everything that comes before it. Windsor-Smith was firing on all cylinders for this tale, showing a mastery of anatomy that’s rarely been equaled. People are lumpy, hairy, misshapen and savage — this is great stuff. $8 for 80 pages may seem a bit steep on first glance, but to my mind it’s worth it. Next month, Finn and Bradstreet begin their story, so I have a feeling this is a book that’s going to move from strength to strength, with some interesting wrinkles along the way.
Lots of great stuff this week, but I think it’s obvious how fond I am of Savage Sword. It was indeed the best thing I read this week from a sheer excitement level point-of-view, but Fantastic Four is quite the thrill ride; I’m just a little sad about where that one’s going. Just an FYI, according to Comic Shop News, Marvel is NOT printing a ton of extra copies of next month’s death-issue. If you want it, you should tell your friendly Star Clipper employee to add it to your pull list now so the shop orders enough copies — you can just order that specific issue, so you don’t need to make a long-term commitment to the book. Of course, the second printing is already scheduled for the following week, so it’s not like you’ll never know who gets whacked. Why, you’ll probably be able to hear my screams of horror moments after it hits the shelves, no matter where you live.
-Paul
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One of my favorite bookstores in St. Louis. Star Clipper offers not only the best selection of comic books and graphic novels in the city, but also a cornucopia of art, design and pop-culture related books and magazines. 
Well, Agnes only had 2 completed stories to her name, while Kull had 12 and Conan 21. It’s hard to compare her to those two when they’ve just had more text with which to flesh the respective characters out. Even so, I think she’s actually quite commendably complex, not least since Howard does the stories from the first person, which was exceedingly rare for him in his non-comedy yarns.
I’m still looking forward to this, especially since I love Aggie.