We begin this week’s installment in a state of emergency.

Mike Harvey, creator of the weekly See You Next Wednesday minicomic that’s near and dear to my heart, claims that this week’s issue is “the worst comic I ever made.” He also states in his introduction that he fears he’s running out of ideas. Mike — walk it off. “Detective Gumshoe: The Cereal Killer” is not the worst thing you’ve done. I’m a fan of puns, and of sugary breakfast cereals, and jingles as well, so I may be the target audience for a comic about an inept detective who wades into a world of breakfast cereal-themed puns while attempting to solve a murder. Maybe other people won’t enjoy the puns and the goofiness, but that’s ok. I respect your desire to maintain a high standard of work, but to start doubting yourself now would be fatal. Trust me: You’re funny, your comics are entertaining, and you’re always going to be the harshest judge of your own work. I’ve bought every issue, and you’re making some of your best work right now. You wanna see a terrible comic? Join me in the next paragraph where I discuss Thor 621.

Thor 621 is awful. If we dismiss all the poorly interpreted mythology Matt Fraction cobbles together about Yggdrasil — the World Tree for those playing along at home — and discard the cruddy science of beings “existing outside time and space” and thereby not being subject to the physical laws of this universe (except for the stuff they are subject to, like gravity and they retain the ability to cast shadows, and disturb air with their vocal chords in order to speak) and then further ignore the absolutely crap botany of the World Tree “healing itself” and thereby flushing out all impurities and also cleansing all the Asgardians — well, if you junk all that stuff, all you have left is about one page of this comic. And that one page makes no sense anyway. I really liked Matt Fraction’s work on Iron Fist a few years ago, but his run here has been maddeningly bad. Thank Odin Marvel’s killing this book and relaunching it as two new titles next month, eh? Except that Fraction’s writing one of those. And Marvel snuffed out a perfectly brilliant Thor the Mighty Avenger title for some reason — still bitter, I am.

Also snuffed out recently? Johnny Storm. I’ve griped at length about how that’s been handled by Jonathan Hickman in the FF book; chief among those gripes was how no one in the FF reacted to it at the time or really in the aftermath. One week after Spider-Man joins the Fantastic Three in the newly re-numbered FF 1, we see how that all came about in Amazing Spider-Man 657. Honestly, the worst thing about this is the unfortunately out-of-sequence timing of its arrival. Dan Slott writes a satisfying wake for Johnny in which Pete, Ben, Sue and Reed all reminisce about shared adventures and the finer qualities of the late Johnny Storm. It’s good; it’s actually pretty great. Slott hits all the right notes in terms of how these four different people related to Johnny, and how they each feel guilty that it was him and not them, and he gives the world the immortal line “He’s got Kraven’s panties!” This issue goes a long way to cooling my ire about how mishandled and exploitative the death of Johnny has been. I really don’t understand why Hickman couldn’t write something like this in FF — I suppose I should be grateful that Dan Slott is here to do the heavy lifting for us. And I am.

I’m a long-time fan of Tank Girl, so I’m well aware of the Tank Girl fugue. This is the phenomenon in which things get so crazy and hectic that you lose your bearings as to what’s happening, and why, and who’s doing what, even though you’ve read all the preceding issues. Bad Wind Rising 3 is that issue for me. Booga’s on the run from the Mod kangaroo mob, Jet Girl’s disguised as Tank Girl in order to infiltrate a scientific facility, Tank Girl is hiding out in a cave with a hippie dandy who’s been shot in the bollocks and now she’s about to discover how Time ends thanks to a trippy Aborigine. It’s … it’s an awful lot to digest and keep straight. It’s a credit to Alan Martin that he’s able to baffle so entertainingly, but lest we forget, Rufus Dayglo’s art is a huge part of that bafflement. His borderless panels and excessive marginalia are essential to the loosey-goosey feel of the plot, and even he claims to be losing his marbles in this issue. I’m not worried — it’ll all make sense in the next issue. It always does, and that’s why Tank Girl is such a good time. If your brain didn’t shut down for its own protection at some point every story, you wouldn’t get to enjoy having your brain kickstarted by Martin in the following issue.

King Conan 2 is eminently more straightforward in its plot and execution. Imprisoned in the Scarlet Citadel of Koth by King Strabonus and the evil wizard Tsotha-Lanti, Conan embarks on a classic dungeon crawl through this subterranean prison. He encounters sadistic guardsmen, strange extra-dimensional creatures and giant snakes while looking for an escape route. This is meat and potatoes fantasy storytelling, and Tim Truman and Tomas Giorello are doing a bang-up job of it. Giorello depicts the creatures with suitable creepiness, and he throws in some nice details that flesh out the story — check out the guard spinning the keys on his finger, and Conan’s pop-eyed look when the guard mentions castration. It’s a fine comic, but it’s definitely a “get from point B to point C by the end of the issue” installment; when it was over I felt like something more should have happened. If you show me a big snake in the early going, I pretty much expect Conan to kill that thing by the end of the book.

So, where does that leave us? I’m tempted to name Tank Girl as the best thing if only because it so completely overwhelmed my feeble mind, but I know the next issue is really going to be a corker. I do believe that Amazing Spider-Man and it’s long delayed wrapping up of Fantastic Four’s loose ends was the best thing I read this week. It certainly did scratch an itch I had resigned myself to suffering — sometimes, the comic that soothes the most is the best.

-Paul

When it was announced that the Fear Agent team, Rick Remender and Tony Moore, were taking over an all-new Venom ongoing I got really excited. I loved the lunacy of their previous Marvel collaboration Franken-Castle, which really took my better judgement by surprise. Plus, Venom is the kind of character Moore could really excel at by drawing his exaggerated features. However, despite a decent script from Remender, the first issue didn’t completely live up to my expectations.

At this point in Marvel history, Venom is a Marvel canon anti-hero. The symbiote has attached itself most notably to two characters, Eddie Brock and Mac Gargan. Remender’s new plot follows the third major Venom host, Flash Thompson. Having revealed Thompson as the new host in “The Amazing Spider 654.1″(those point one issues do have major impact), Remender is able to jump straight into Thompson’s first Black-ops mission in the government owned Venom symbiote. The all-american Thompson is legless after an accident and the Venom symbiote briefly provides new legs while on missions. However, the government will only allow Thompson to use the symbiote for a designated amount of time to save him from being over taken as the Venom entity. His first mission is revealed to be a mere training session, and is viewed as a failure because Thomson chooses to save innocent bystanders and accidentally kills his target. However, it’s when Remender explores Thompson’s alcoholism at the end of the issue when the writer finds his voice in the series. Ending the issue with a quote by Charles Buxton, “A man’s venom poisons himself more than his victims,” Remender is exploring more than just the symbiote Venom, and sticks with the tradition of the classic Marvel character flaw.

Moore is the weaker link of the team in the debut issue. Though the artist does a fair job, I would like to see him get much more outrageous with Venom before he inevitably falls off the project to be replaced by another artist (most likely Jerome Opena). Hopefully, the next issue finds Venom slurping his floppy tongue all over the place in Moore’s signature style (who also happens to be one of my favorite artists and the reason I had high expectations for the series).

Also, if Remender wants to make Venom threaten to eat Spider-Man’s brain I’m perfectly okay with that. I’m certain Moore can draw ridiculous brain eating.

-Jon

Not a big outing for me this week, but it certainly is a strange one. It’s a peculiar mix of blockbuster-type stuff and would-be blockbusters, plus some oddball titles. That certainly sounds like a good time — but is it? (Yes, it is.)

Let’s talk about Cool Baby, the latest installment of Mike Harvey’s See You Next Wednesday Comics. It’s a minicomic about a baby named Rex who puts on sunglasses and is immediately a cool dude. It’s … it’s weird. Storywise, this may be the slightest thing Mike has done so far, and that’s not a complaint. There’s a simplicity to this — you know what, hold on. I’m gonna read it again.

/reads it again.

Yeah, it really is bizarre. That oddness is Cool Baby’s strongest feature. I like that I never know what I’m getting in SYNW Comics, I just know I’m going to laugh when I read it. After fifteen or so issues, it’s safe to say that this is a sure thing every week.

Much less sure of itself is Marvel’s “Point One” marketing plan. This is supposed to be an easy starting point for people who may not be reading a particular title, but in the case of Thor 620.1 I don’t possibly see how that could be. Dan Abnett and Mark Lanning give us an Asgardian feast night in honor of Thor, which is crashed by Grey Gargoyle. The story suitably explains the “Thor loves/protects Earth” deal, but it doesn’t fill you in on the supporting cast at all, or why Asgard is in Broxton, Oklahoma, or anything crucial like who these people dressed up like vikings think they are. Also, Abnett/Lanning completely muddle a point of Norse theology, to wit: Eating Idunn’s golden apples does not make one immortal. They keep the gods eternally young, and without them the gods age rapidly — BUT — they’re still going to die and they know it, hence, not immortal. Is this nitpicky? Yea, verily. But the death of the gods, or “Twilight of the Gods,” to coin a phrase, is kind of a big deal in Thor’s book — it is in fact the only grande story Marvel has tried to tell with Thor for about 30 years now. In fact, weren’t we suffering through Matt Fraction’s “twist” (those are sarcastic air quotes) on that very trope last month? Did that get wrapped up and I missed it? No, it seems that story is suspended temporarily for this Point One issue and it will get wrapped up next month — summarily, I assure you — so that Marvel can restart the book with a new issue 1 just in time for the movie in another month. If you’re keeping score at home, that means the Point One stories frustrate current readers and they don’t really help new readers latch on to the book. And didn’t they just renumber the book about 25 months ago so that they could hit 600? Shhhh, don’t answer — it’s not supposed to make sense, it’s supposed to make dollars.

Now, Superman/Batman 82 is a book that makes sense, probably because it’s divorced from the normal S/B continuity. Cullen Bunn and Chriscross continue their Sorcerer Kings storyline by revealing that most of DC’s magic-based superheroes sacrificed their lives to repower the sun, and now because of Sol’s altered state technology is hopelessly disrupted and magic is supercharged. Also, Batman has a pet dragon, vampires roam the earth and modern Superman (transported to this future realm) has magical powers fueled by his willpower and he wields a huge sword. Crazy, right? It’s also a well-explained set-up that tweaks your expectations for both characters, and it looks super awesome. More comic book creators should strive for super awesome.

Greg Pak and pencilers Harvey Tolibao & Steven Segovia are aiming for super awesome with Silver Surfer 2, but I expect no less from Pak. The guy is an ambitious storyteller, and I like that. Silver Surfer is stripped not just of the Power Cosmic but also of his silver coating by the High Evolutionary, reverting to his Zenn Lavian state, a.k.a., Norrin Radd. Normally, I find the “power strip” plot hook trite and boring, but Pak uses it to reacquaint us with the person beneath the powers. He may look like us, but he’s an alien, and his time wielding the Power Cosmic has made Norrin an alien to himself. Running, drinking water and being able to smell a woman’s hair are all exotic experiences to this Norrin, and he finds it intoxicating to be able to do these things again. It’s a thought-provoking set-up to be sure, and it raises questions about the Surfer’s more familiar actions, such as saving Earth and earthlings. If he hasn’t been feeling his heart beat all these years, what was driving him to protect us? There are pages in this that are visually confusing, and I’m not sure I’m crazy about another superhero being aided by a sexy woman — Surfer couldn’t be partnered with a 50-something genius just for variety’s sake? Also, when I buy a book called Silver Surfer, I expect to see a Silver Surfer doing Silver Surfer things — so let’s hope he’s not depowered until page 18 of issue 5. I want me some cosmic blasts and faster-than-light jaunts through deep space.

Much more on the money across the board is Legion of Super-Heroes 11. Paul Levitz is a very, very good comic book scripter. There’s no fat in any of his books, no wasted moments or undeveloped leads. He continually weaves elements of the Legion’s illustrious past into the modern book, and he moves the story forward every issue. Here we get Legionnaires hunting down the convicts who escaped in the Legion of Super-Villains one-shot from two weeks ago, which results in Timber Wolf fighting a very disgruntled Sun Emperor, who’s upset about being replaced in the LSV by Sun Killer. The result is a par-broiled Timber Wolf who still bucks up to pound a bad guy. Levitz covers all his bases (violent action and high-level scheming) so elegantly that it’s easy to underrate just how good a book this is — and after you read a few issues, it’s abundantly clear that this is an excellent story. I’m kinda surprised DC doesn’t hype this book more, but I’m also glad. It’s instead allowed to exist in its own little excellence bubble.

Power Man and Iron Fist 3 is less solid, but that’s partially because I’m bothered by Fred Van Lente’s use of the word “evidence” as a verb when he should have used “evince” — while paraphrasing Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler,” no less. PM & IF infiltrate the undersea gambling casino of a man who was totally not named to coattail ride the obnoxious bleatings of Lady Gaga (“Poker Face,” because he’s the world’s greatest gambler and also has a fireplace poker stuck in his head), and then end up gambling — with their LIVES. There is something charmingly goofy about this series — again, POKER FACE, get it? — and I do love Iron Fist, but this issue feels like it could have been cut in half and still accomplished the same job. I still like this PM & IF much more than I expected I would, but I’m watching the clock (only two issues to go) and wondering when PM & IF are actually going to team up and fight something or someone together — you know, like a team.

And then we get to FF issue 1, which is totally a real reordering of the Fantastic Four mythos and a genuine new start to the venerable series as it embarks on its new voyage as the Future Foundation. Nah, just kidding — it’ll be renumbered in time for 600 just like Thor was. Wait, how did Thor jump ahead of FF in terms of numbering? Anyway, Jonathan Hickman and Steve Epting celebrate the death of Johnny Storm (insert sarcastic “he’s not dead, Jim” joke here if you like) by adding Spider-Man to the FF. They do this off-panel, because the last thing I want to see is Reed Richards engaging in a heart-to-heart conversation with fellow intellectual Peter Parker about how he really needs a friend and ally in the family business — no, strike that; I would have liked to see that after all. I also would have liked to see any sort of conversation between Reed and Sue and Franklin and Val where they discuss life and death and how Uncle Johnny’s in a better place now, where he can build hot-rods and consort with loose women — but that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. Nor is there any explanation forthcoming about how Pete’s gonna live at the Baxter Building and be a full-time FF’er while also maintaining that sweet new dream job he landed at Max Modell’s company a few months ago. Problems, problems everywhere in this from continuity to characterization. I hold Jonathan Hickman to a higher standard because he set quite a high bar for himself in the past year, but he keeps striking false notes ever since the “death” of Johnny issue. It’s weird and disconcerting how profoundly wrong this book has felt these past three issues. I feel like I have to apologize for FF at this point, which was quite recently an excellent comic book full of action and human moments exemplified by razor-sharp characterization. Is the disordered, off-putting nature of this book a meta-contextual commentary on the upheaval caused by an unexpected death — is Hickman making the book lumpy to reflect everybody’s continued upset state in the wake of Johnny’s death? I so much want to believe that that I’m willing to entertain the thought, but no. I fear Hickman’s lost the plot and all his momentum while trying to deliver a shattering crescendo, and now that the story has to continue he’s not quite sure of how to pick up where he left off.

/looks up.

That is a lot of damn words about FF 1, a book I didn’t even like that much.

This is a first for me, but I’m going to claim that Superman/Batman 82 is the best thing I read this week. Legion is certainly building towards a deadly confrontation with their classic arch-enemies, and this issue has a nice fight scene and some great Brainiac dialogue. But Cullen Bunn’s inventiveness and the clarity of the story and ChrissCross’ art make Supes/Bats a fun and entertaining story first and foremost, and it also illuminates elements of both characters’ personalities in interesting ways. Superman as a sword-wielding paladin? I can get behind that. I can get behind that in a big way.

-Paul

It’s the IDW crossover that could! Look at that picture… What do you see? I see GI Joe’s Snake Eyes, Star Trek’s Spock, Transformers’ Optimus Prime, and Ghostbusters’ Peter Venkman. That should be a victory for anyone, period. And you might be asking, “Fleet, how does that even work?” Well… To be honest, it kinda doesn’t. At least, not how you’d expect. You see, while the event includes these 4 licences, it would appear that they never meet eachother. The catylist for the story begins in what I’ll call the “Zombies Vs Robots Multiverse”. There’s this agency that monitors zombie activity throughout that multiverse… Then something happens that allows the zombie threat to extend into each of the other franchise’s universes. So each license has to deal with their own problems, independent to the others.

So far, Transformers and Star Trek have run their courses, with Ghostbusters and GI Joe having just started their fun. But the thing about this event, is that it’s not some throwaway tale, what happens in these books remain a part of their respective continuities. For example, a certain “old” Autobot becomes about of the Robot Zombie wave and is subsequently destroyed. His death kinda hurt me a little bit, because he was arguably one of the cooler of the second wave Transformers from the original cartoon series. But that guy is dead in the main series because of the direct result of zombies in the Transformers universe. There ain’t no coming back. At least, there shouldn’t be.

Anyway, my favorite tie-in has been the Ghostbusters book. For one thing, I’m certain that each Ghostbuster will be safe from death, and it also brought back the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Which, depending on which continuity you follow, that’s kind of dubious. Seeing as in the movies, Stay Puft was the living avatar of Gozer the Gozerian on our Earthly plane. As established in the recent Ghostbusters videogame, which acts as a direct sequel to the movies, Gozer can only appear as Stay Puft, but you should know, Gozer is a god, not a ghost and therefore cannot be trapped as a conventional ghost. Which is why Gozer can only be destroyed. However, in the Real Ghostbusters cartoon, there is a ghost version of Stay Puft, that originally was a dream creation, then later was established as a true ghost, created from the ectoplasmic marshmallow leftovers from their battle with Gozer from the movies. But, I’m fairly certain that most casual GB fans and even some hardcore ones don’t know that… But another thing is, I have no idea what the IDW continuity is… It may be some analgam of all the previous series, but either way it goes, it’s fun to see him be a part of the story. Also, there’s polterguiests… Which also are not ghosts, and thus makes the Ghostbusters lives that much harder. So yeah.

Anyway, Infestation is still going on and looks to be concluded during the first week of April, so if you haven’t had a chance to check the series out, now’s your chance. IDW had been doing some cool things lately, and deserve a little bit of your attention. Also, it looks like they’re the first company to be able to not only get the rights to Godzilla, but the rights to all the other giant Toho monsters that Godzilla has fought with or against. So kudos to them. See ya.

-Fleet

I warn you now, at the beginning, that there are going to be an abundance of superlatives in this week’s installment. I bought a hefty bundle of books, and every one of them is in the running for best thing I read.
(Looks over stack of comics again.)
OK, everything except for Young Justice could win it.

There’s nothing really wrong with Young Justice 2 — nothing except that it features Superboy, who’s always a magnet for the worst trend of whatever era we’re currently living in. Superboy in the 90s looked like this:

… and in all honesty, everybody in the 90s looked like Richard Simmons’ personal bicycle courier on their way to the gym. Superboy of today looks like this:

… with the cargo pants and the tucked in shirt and the anguish and the angst. He looks like every guy in the front row of the Warped Tour. What I’m saying is that Superboy is a terrible character who’s always the straw man argument for whatever today’s adults think today’s kids are into. This is supposedly a team book, but these first two issues mainly feature Superboy, who’s just a terrible character. Also, Hawkman makes a brief appearance, but is quickly knocked out in a fight after contributing nothing — why does DC hate me so much that they misuse Hawky every dang time? (Listen to me pouting, I’m like an old Superboy over here.)

It’s amazing to me that I so disliked Young Justice and yet loved Tiny Titans, because Art Baltazar and Franco write both. Tiny Titans 38 is a special underwater issue, and in addition to featuring brand new underwater Superpet Steve the Seahorse, it also has lots of jokes related to Aquaman — that’s awesome. We also meet underwater superhero The Face, a.k.a., Ian. He’s a kid whose torso is all face and no head — your argument is invalid.

See You Next Wednesday Comics features a returning character, Cap’n Mac, the guy with a computer for a head and who only saves women — the Cap’n has a strict laissez faire policy towards dudes. Way back at the end of January I predicted that Mike Harvey’s mini-comic-a week-schedule was going to force him to develop as an artist. Page six of this week’s story proves me right; Cap’n Mac’s expression of complete disdain for a man falling to his death is easily the most expressive panel Mike has done. And once again, I laughed at least thrice while reading this issue, which raises a very serious question: Is Mike Harvey currently creating the funniest comic on the racks? He very well may be — and it’s only March. I can’t wait to see where he is in July.

Loki 4 wraps up Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s retelling of the ancient story of Loki betraying all the gods and setting off Ragnarok, and I felt like this was the strongest issue of the miniseries. It fulfills the promise of issue one, which was to tell the story from Loki’s point of view and also reveal something about the nature of evil. *SPOILER ALERT* When Frigga accuses Loki of being proud of murdering her son, Balder, Loki responds with a very tired, “No. I am resigned to it.” As all of Norse cosmology spins on the axis of fate — the belief that our lives are determined by the Norns, who weave all of our lives before we live them — this is a powerfully humanizing moment for the god of mischief. Just as Thor is fated to die heroically in Ragnarok, as Odin is fated to die heroically by his side, Loki must also play his role as the Fates have written it. It’s much more rewarding to be the hero than the villain in the story, but Aguirre-Sacasa even figures out a way to demonstrate that being the god of chaos doesn’t mean being pure evil, it means being unpredictable. This is a complex and thought-provoking story, and it makes me wish that Marvel would give Aguirre-Sacasa the monthly Thor title, maybe with Simone Bianchi on pencils. A very minor quibble: If you aren’t familiar with the original story of Loki’s betrayal and Thor’s pursuit of him, I’m not sure you’ll understand what’s happening when they fight in this one. There’s a bit of visual shorthand going on in Al Barrionuevo’s pencils that maybe could have been solved with a concise narration box or two.

Amazing Spider-Man 656 is also a complex and multi-faceted examination of evil. I know, right? Dan Slott is putting on a clinic about how to write superhero comics, and I love him for it. I hate Spidey’s new Tron-esque costume, but I’ll overlook it because ASM is so consistently brilliant. With Peter Parker still reeling from his failure to save Marla Jameson, and J. Jonah spiraling deeper into depression over his wife’s death, a new sociopathic villain appears and kills a bunch of innocent New Yorkers. And as good and satisfying as Jonah’s response to this is — *ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT* — he guarantees the son of one victim the death of Massacre, the killer — it’s Spidey’s response to the crisis that’s the most inspirational. Namely, that vigilantism isn’t nearly as good an answer to destruction as fighting to preserve life is; yes, even if it means not killing the lunatic. Dan Slott is holding Peter Parker to the standards of a super hero, and that’s why both of them deserve the sobriquet “amazing.”

Not nearly as complex but no less thrilling than Loki and Spidey is Warlord of Mars 5. Arvid Nelson is really hitting his stride on this pulpy story of brave Virginian John Carter trying to adapt to life on Mars. Carter is genteel and manly by turns, and his social and cultural missteps with the natives demonstrate his fallibility — this in spite of his supernatural strength compared to everyone else on this low-gravity planet. Lui Antonio’s pencils continue to be just what the doctor ordered for this book; Dejah Thoris is voluptuous and lovely, John is heroic and a physical specimen, the Tharks are massive and menacing, and the cityscapes are otherworldly and beautiful. It’s not going to make you re-think anything, but as pure entertainment Warlord of Mars is tough to beat.

Despite being a very old man, I did not read Xombi back when it first appeared. Which is weird, because I was into all the Milestone books when they debuted, and apparently Alan Moore touted the title constantly. What was I doing way back then to miss this? (Let the record show the writer made the “drinky, drinky” motion.) Having no comparison for the book, I’d say that John Rozum and Fraser Irving have done a bang-up job getting me interested with issue 1. As far as first issues go, this one does a top-notch job of explaining “who” and “what,” and then gives you enough “why” so you care about David Kim, a.k.a. Xombi, immediately. It kinda reminded me of Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol, but not so much that it felt derivative. If you’re looking for a well-plotted sci-fi story that relies on a lot of absurdist wordplay to create a world and tell a story — look there’s no way to finish that without sounding like an ass. If you don’t like intelligent, off-beat stories, why are you reading a blog about comics? More of them should be like this — and I’m saying that based on just one issue.

Now Northlanders 38, I have 38 issues of history to go on. Just to sum up for any newcomers out there: My name is Paul, Northlanders is my favorite comic and one day I’m going to marry Northlanders.

All right, settle down, Crazy Eyes Viking.
Having said that, I must confess to complaining to Ben in the shop today that I’m “not crazy” about Simon Gane’s art. With issue 2 of the massive “Siege of Paris” storyline now read and admired and read again, I have to say that I’m a total idiot for doubting Gane’s abilities. I really do like the rough-hewn quality of his art, it suits the nature of our “hero,” Mads, a rough and tumble viking if ever there was one. Maybe it takes more than one issue to figure out what a penciller is all about.

Brian Woods’ script is impeccable, juggling stark violence, chaos, humor and a wild and wooly moment of valor that shows us that Mads may be a capable narrator but he is completely insane as an individual human being. That’s an important distinction in the Northlanders world. Most characters are violent, but the clearly crazy ones are the most dangerous because there is no predicting what they’ll do and what will happen to them. I think Mads is doomed, personally, but Woods surprises me with ever story arc. And Mads is crazy, so who knows. He might be the only viking to walk into Paris.

So what’s the best thing I read this week? As much as Loki is tugging at my conscience, and as much as I enjoyed my introduction to Xombi, and hey! Spider-Man!, the fact that I read Northlanders again while writing this paragraph makes it clear to me that I just can’t deny the majesty of a pragmatic viking sacrificing himself for the cause — especially when the cause is as insane as the viking is. Northlanders is the Best Thing I Read This Week. But I have problems. Maybe for you it’ll be Amazing Spider-Man. As long as you don’t say “anything with Superboy,” we’re cool. High five.

-Paul

“Who says my cousin is the only one can cut loose? Plus, when I died, it really meant something… Not like those other Supermen who die every other week!”

Heh. It’s been about 6 or 7 months since the last one of these that I’ve written… So let me refresh your memories about just what it was that I’m doing here. This link, should explain everything. Now that your memories have been refreshed, let’s talk about the one they call Supergirl.

First off, let’s address that when you talk about Supergirl, it seems like every other person is going to be thinking about a different version of the character. Unlike her cousin Kal, generally there’s only one Supergirl at a time (excluding Power Girl). Generally, I’d spend the next few paragraphs giving you brief histories of the character and if there were a few alternate versions, I’d talk about them as well… But seeing as how there are at least 5 different Supergirls, I think I’ll just stick to the primary one, Kara Zor-El.

The first appearance of Supergirl (Super-Girl) was originally a creation formed from a wish that Jimmy Olsen made in a 1958 comic. Essentially, she was just a female Superman that butted heads with Clark as they tried to save the day. Eventually, she was fatally wounded by saving Supes from a falling Kryptonite meteor that some dude was going to drop on him. As she laid dying, she asked Jimmy to wish her out of existence. He did and that was it, until about a year later. You see, the whole point of that issue was to test the waters and see if readers would be receptive of new super-human type character as a female counterpart for Superman. They were. And thus, Kara Zor-El was “born”

Originally, she hailed from Argo City of Krypton. The idea was that when Krypton exploded, there was a chunk that remained intact that sustained her city. But as time went by, the foundation of the city was turning into Kryptonite. So, Kara’s father, Zor-El (Brother to Jor-El, father of Superman) sent Kara to Earth in the hopes that she could be raised by her older cousin. I guess, the rest of the Kryptonians died after that. Anyway, she landed and got all the same powers as Superman, and everyone was happy. That was, until the Crisis on Infinite Earths.

You see, by the time the 80s rolled around, it turned out that there were a whole lot more survivors of Krypton than what was once thought. There were Phantom Zone Criminals and an entire city trapped in a bottle… You know, the door was open for there to be more and more Kryptonian survivors. Superman was no longer unique… So, for Superman’s sake, the Crisis was used to clean house. So the solution was for Supergirl to sacrifice herself to save Clark and the rest of the multiverse. End the end, most of the alternate Earths were destroyed or merged to leave only one standing. On this new Earth, there was only one Kryptonian survivor. And it wasn’t Kara Zor-El.

That some other stuff happened. There was a goo alien Supergirl, who could shapeshift and dated Lex Luthor, then that goo-alien merged with a human to become another Supergirl, Then there were Supergirls coming from the future… But the thing was, none of them were Kara… There was a time in comics where when a character died, you had to ask if he or she was “Jean Grey” dead or “Kara” dead. But one day in 2004, “Kara” dead no longer meant anything. Kryptonians were back in style, but to make things a little different and more realistic, Kara was the older cousin and she was also sent to Earth in a rocket. Unfortunately, her rocket was caught in the explosion and blah blah, she got to Earth late. Real late. Then some other stuff happened, and there’s a bunch of Kryptonians again. Anyway, that’s Supergirl for you. Here’s your hint for the next Superman:

Terminator Superman.

I got tired of coming up with quotes…

And in case you needed a reminder, these are the characters that have been done so far.

1. The Eradicator
2. Steel
3. Bizzaro
4. Ultraman

See ya next time.

-Fleet