I warn you now, at the beginning, that there are going to be an abundance of superlatives in this week’s installment. I bought a hefty bundle of books, and every one of them is in the running for best thing I read.
(Looks over stack of comics again.)
OK, everything except for Young Justice could win it.

There’s nothing really wrong with Young Justice 2 — nothing except that it features Superboy, who’s always a magnet for the worst trend of whatever era we’re currently living in. Superboy in the 90s looked like this:

[HE’S HIDING BEPPO IN HIS JOCK, APPARENTLY]

… and in all honesty, everybody in the 90s looked like Richard Simmons’ personal bicycle courier on their way to the gym. Superboy of today looks like this:

[COME SEE MY BAND, LEGACY OF AN EXPLODED PLANET]

… with the cargo pants and the tucked in shirt and the anguish and the angst. He looks like every guy in the front row of the Warped Tour. What I’m saying is that Superboy is a terrible character who’s always the straw man argument for whatever today’s adults think today’s kids are into. This is supposedly a team book, but these first two issues mainly feature Superboy, who’s just a terrible character. Also, Hawkman makes a brief appearance, but is quickly knocked out in a fight after contributing nothing — why does DC hate me so much that they misuse Hawky every dang time? (Listen to me pouting, I’m like an old Superboy over here.)

[ALWAYS AWESOME, ALWAYS]

It’s amazing to me that I so disliked Young Justice and yet loved Tiny Titans, because Art Baltazar and Franco write both. Tiny Titans 38 is a special underwater issue, and in addition to featuring brand new underwater Superpet Steve the Seahorse, it also has lots of jokes related to Aquaman — that’s awesome. We also meet underwater superhero The Face, a.k.a., Ian. He’s a kid whose torso is all face and no head — your argument is invalid.

See You Next Wednesday Comics features a returning character, Cap’n Mac, the guy with a computer for a head and who only saves women — the Cap’n has a strict laissez faire policy towards dudes. Way back at the end of January I predicted that Mike Harvey’s mini-comic-a week-schedule was going to force him to develop as an artist. Page six of this week’s story proves me right; Cap’n Mac’s expression of complete disdain for a man falling to his death is easily the most expressive panel Mike has done. And once again, I laughed at least thrice while reading this issue, which raises a very serious question: Is Mike Harvey currently creating the funniest comic on the racks? He very well may be — and it’s only March. I can’t wait to see where he is in July.

[LOKI LOVES THE LOOK OF FEAR]

Loki 4 wraps up Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s retelling of the ancient story of Loki betraying all the gods and setting off Ragnarok, and I felt like this was the strongest issue of the miniseries. It fulfills the promise of issue one, which was to tell the story from Loki’s point of view and also reveal something about the nature of evil. *SPOILER ALERT* When Frigga accuses Loki of being proud of murdering her son, Balder, Loki responds with a very tired, “No. I am resigned to it.” As all of Norse cosmology spins on the axis of fate — the belief that our lives are determined by the Norns, who weave all of our lives before we live them — this is a powerfully humanizing moment for the god of mischief. Just as Thor is fated to die heroically in Ragnarok, as Odin is fated to die heroically by his side, Loki must also play his role as the Fates have written it. It’s much more rewarding to be the hero than the villain in the story, but Aguirre-Sacasa even figures out a way to demonstrate that being the god of chaos doesn’t mean being pure evil, it means being unpredictable. This is a complex and thought-provoking story, and it makes me wish that Marvel would give Aguirre-Sacasa the monthly Thor title, maybe with Simone Bianchi on pencils. A very minor quibble: If you aren’t familiar with the original story of Loki’s betrayal and Thor’s pursuit of him, I’m not sure you’ll understand what’s happening when they fight in this one. There’s a bit of visual shorthand going on in Al Barrionuevo’s pencils that maybe could have been solved with a concise narration box or two.

[EH, IT’S BETTER THAN THE MULTI-ARMED STARK ARMOR]

Amazing Spider-Man 656 is also a complex and multi-faceted examination of evil. I know, right? Dan Slott is putting on a clinic about how to write superhero comics, and I love him for it. I hate Spidey’s new Tron-esque costume, but I’ll overlook it because ASM is so consistently brilliant. With Peter Parker still reeling from his failure to save Marla Jameson, and J. Jonah spiraling deeper into depression over his wife’s death, a new sociopathic villain appears and kills a bunch of innocent New Yorkers. And as good and satisfying as Jonah’s response to this is — *ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT* — he guarantees the son of one victim the death of Massacre, the killer — it’s Spidey’s response to the crisis that’s the most inspirational. Namely, that vigilantism isn’t nearly as good an answer to destruction as fighting to preserve life is; yes, even if it means not killing the lunatic. Dan Slott is holding Peter Parker to the standards of a super hero, and that’s why both of them deserve the sobriquet “amazing.”

[JOHN CARTER SAYS WRAP IT UP, DEJAH]

Not nearly as complex but no less thrilling than Loki and Spidey is Warlord of Mars 5. Arvid Nelson is really hitting his stride on this pulpy story of brave Virginian John Carter trying to adapt to life on Mars. Carter is genteel and manly by turns, and his social and cultural missteps with the natives demonstrate his fallibility — this in spite of his supernatural strength compared to everyone else on this low-gravity planet. Lui Antonio’s pencils continue to be just what the doctor ordered for this book; Dejah Thoris is voluptuous and lovely, John is heroic and a physical specimen, the Tharks are massive and menacing, and the cityscapes are otherworldly and beautiful. It’s not going to make you re-think anything, but as pure entertainment Warlord of Mars is tough to beat.

[THE ONLY X BOOK I’M CURRENTLY BUYING]

Despite being a very old man, I did not read Xombi back when it first appeared. Which is weird, because I was into all the Milestone books when they debuted, and apparently Alan Moore touted the title constantly. What was I doing way back then to miss this? (Let the record show the writer made the “drinky, drinky” motion.) Having no comparison for the book, I’d say that John Rozum and Fraser Irving have done a bang-up job getting me interested with issue 1. As far as first issues go, this one does a top-notch job of explaining “who” and “what,” and then gives you enough “why” so you care about David Kim, a.k.a. Xombi, immediately. It kinda reminded me of Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol, but not so much that it felt derivative. If you’re looking for a well-plotted sci-fi story that relies on a lot of absurdist wordplay to create a world and tell a story — look there’s no way to finish that without sounding like an ass. If you don’t like intelligent, off-beat stories, why are you reading a blog about comics? More of them should be like this — and I’m saying that based on just one issue.

[YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW]

Now Northlanders 38, I have 38 issues of history to go on. Just to sum up for any newcomers out there: My name is Paul, Northlanders is my favorite comic and one day I’m going to marry Northlanders.

[PULL UP YOUR BOOTS, HERE COMES THE FLOOD OF BULLSH--]

All right, settle down, Crazy Eyes Viking.
Having said that, I must confess to complaining to Ben in the shop today that I’m “not crazy” about Simon Gane’s art. With issue 2 of the massive “Siege of Paris” storyline now read and admired and read again, I have to say that I’m a total idiot for doubting Gane’s abilities. I really do like the rough-hewn quality of his art, it suits the nature of our “hero,” Mads, a rough and tumble viking if ever there was one. Maybe it takes more than one issue to figure out what a penciller is all about.

[DEATH FROM ABOVE]

Brian Woods’ script is impeccable, juggling stark violence, chaos, humor and a wild and wooly moment of valor that shows us that Mads may be a capable narrator but he is completely insane as an individual human being. That’s an important distinction in the Northlanders world. Most characters are violent, but the clearly crazy ones are the most dangerous because there is no predicting what they’ll do and what will happen to them. I think Mads is doomed, personally, but Woods surprises me with ever story arc. And Mads is crazy, so who knows. He might be the only viking to walk into Paris.

So what’s the best thing I read this week? As much as Loki is tugging at my conscience, and as much as I enjoyed my introduction to Xombi, and hey! Spider-Man!, the fact that I read Northlanders again while writing this paragraph makes it clear to me that I just can’t deny the majesty of a pragmatic viking sacrificing himself for the cause — especially when the cause is as insane as the viking is. Northlanders is the Best Thing I Read This Week. But I have problems. Maybe for you it’ll be Amazing Spider-Man. As long as you don’t say “anything with Superboy,” we’re cool. High five.

-Paul

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