Man oh man, what a big bunch of comics this week. Making that walk down the Star Clipper aisle of single issues took me quite a bit of time. So many new issues (FF! Amazing Spider-Man!); so many one shots (The Jack Kirby Omnibus Sampler!); so many variant covers (Incredible Hulk #1 times eight!); and Tank Girl, too (Tank Girl!). Let’s get right to it.
Tank Girl: Carioca was just plain terrible. I know, I can’t believe I wrote that either. I love Tank Girl, I love Alan Martin’s oddball scripts, but Mike McMahon’s art stinks. Again, I can’t believe I wrote that either. I’ve enjoyed McMahon’s style on various 2000 AD characters, but the faces in this, ugh. It’s not just that everybody he draws is ugly — although they are all eye-bleedingly ugly — it’s that his lay-outs are so staid and his panels so stilted that Martin’s script comes across as one-note and unfunny. The whole issue reads like it’s in slow-motion. Alan Martin is brilliant, but his luster is tarnished to a dingy glimmer by McMahon’s boring art. That’s unconscionable.
Savage Hawkman 2 is also dismal. In just two issues, Tony S. Daniel and Philip Tan have made me nostalgic for that stretch of time when Hawkman was dead — any of ‘em. The art is monotonously unimaginative and Daniel has no handle on who Carter Hall is. Is he a brooding tough guy? Is he some sort of Indiana Jones-esque scholar/adventurer? Is he a bird, or is he dancer? The “plot” (do you like those sarcasti-quotes? I bought them just to use in this “review”) is impenetrable, but it has something to do with Hawky fighting Morphicius (isn’t that a lyric from Dee-Lite’s “Groove Is In the Heart”?), a big, pointy-eared guy who loves Nth metal. Or maybe he hates Nth metal, I’m not really sure. If you held a gun to my head, I couldn’t tell you what Morphicius’ motivation is or what his powers are. Sucking? I dunno, I’m just spitballing here. If nothing else, I’ve finally figured out why the book is called Savage Hawkman; it’s because reading is it is a savage assault on my sensibilities. Easily the worst book in the New 52, and yes, I’ve seen Red Hood and the Interstellar Hoochie Mama. That’s at least prurient trash — this is like reading someone’s coma diary.
So after that mess, I read FF 11. Me and FF have a prickly relationship at this point. I really, truly loved Jonathan Hickman’s run on Fantastic Four, but everything since the death of Johnny Storm has been pretty rough going. The past two issues of this series have made great strides towards repairing the damage, so this one is important. Is the book ascending again, or does the nosedive in quality continue? On the plus side, Hickman had the Thing return from his period of morning; that’s good. But all Thing does is sit around and provide some light comic relief; that’s bad. However, Hickman solved his multiple-Reed Richards-problem by dramatically altering the landscape of the Marvel Universe; that’s astounding. I mean it, this issue’s *SPOILER REDACTED BECAUSE YOU REALLY OUGHTA SEE IT, NOT GET IT SECOND-HAND FROM A COMICS BLOG* and I kinda peed myself a little bit. No fooling. This is the stuff I expect not just from Hickman (the huge swoop of a narrative arc changing direction and shocking you), but from the Fantastic Four. This is the book Marvel should use as their difference-making engine; the FF should always be the biggest, most cosmic, mind-blowing comic in Marvel’s stable. This issue certainly fits that bill. But I must note again: It’s been 11 issues of this book and probably five of its predecessor since I’ve seen the Thing punch anything, and that is inhumane.
Butcher Baker, The Righteous Maker 7 inches the book ever-so-slightly towards some sort of resolution. That’s progress, right? I love Mike Huddleston’s art — the cover homage to Bill Sienkewicz’s cover for the Elektra miniseries (itself an homage to the theater poster for “Prizzi’s Honor”) is worth the price of admission alone — but I’d be hard pressed to think of a writer more in love with the smell of his own farts than Joe Casey. OK, maybe I am. But my point is this: I’m seven months deep in this book and the Jackie Gleason sheriff from issue one still hasn’t caught up to Butcher, Butcher himself is still trying to complete his mission of “killing these bad guys for Dick Cheney and Jay Leno” and — wait, that’s it. This whole series thus far is just two converging points never converging. It looks so good though. I think Huddleston should get on Tank Girl and solve two of my problems.
Game of Thrones 2 has the opposite problem, pacing-wise. George R.R. Martin’s book is dense and character driven, but Daniel Abraham is racing through it all at blinding speed. That’s one of the difficulties of trying to adapt a 700-page book; if you really want to do it justice, you’d need 300 issues or so to fit it all in. I have a hard time comprehending how fans of the book will be satisfied, or how fans of the TV show will be satisfied by this ultra-lite version of the story. It’s not bad by any means, although Tommy Patterson’s version of Ned Stark looks a touch creepy here and there, it just feels so skimpy.
The Incredible Hulk 1 marks (another) new direction for ol’ Jade Jaws, one of Marvel’s most simple characters who happens to be one of the most complex to write. Jason Aaron and Marc Silvestri have him hanging out with the Mole People deep inside the Earth’s crust, and once again, Banner is separate from Hulk. In theory, I don’t know that I’m ready to begin another storyline that exists to unite the two, and honestly, that’s the only outcome I see for this. You can either have them trapped inside the same body and the conflict is one trying to free himself from the other (the Stan Lee), you can have them integrated into a super-smart, super-strong super-human (the Peter David) or you can have the Hulk-dominant version who never changes and conquers an entire alien world (the Greg Pak). You can’t kill Bruce Banner and you can’t kill Hulk, so these are the ground rules. I’ve seen this game played many times, and a talented creative team can make it work and feel new. I think Aaron and Silvestri are off to a pretty good start, because at least Aaron is opening with a new gambit: Banner’s gone nuts, and he’s the dangerous one now thanks to his super-science experiments. Sold, I’m in. See? Simple, yet it has to get complicated before it’s all over. I really do like Silvestri’s art, but his female anatomy is egregious, even for a comic book. Government agent Amanda von Doom either defies the laws of spandex and gravity, or she has the worst pair of bolt-ons ever purchased.
Kirby Genesis 4 is a big ol’ pile of “huh?” Not necessarily in a bad way, there’s just a lot happening in this one. Galaxy Green, Captain Victory, Silver Star, Tiger 20 and I may be missing a few others get together to hash out who’s in charge, who’s going to save Earth from the alien invaders and who’s going home empty-handed. Kurt Busiek, Alex Ross and Jack Herbert have jammed this issue with colorful characters and movement, which is very Kirby of them. If you know your Kirby, you know that once everyone meets and tussles for dominance, the next step is to go after the bad guys. The final page of this issue implies that’s exactly what we’re getting next month — I eagerly await lots of Kirby crackle and mayhem.
Planet of the Apes 7 maintains its course as a solid, dependable action comic. Sullivan, the mayor of the human community in Ape City, has given up on pacifism and tolerance in favor of guns and lots of ‘em. Alaya, the ape leader, sinks deeper into madness and hypocrisy, forging documents in the name of the apes’ deceased spiritual leader in order to consolidate her power base. It’s a lot of exposition and political maneuvering, which doesn’t always make the best comic book. As part of the ongoing series, however, it’s a nice breather before what’s sure to be a civilization-wrecking battle. I’m primed for a cataclysmic ape v. human confrontation, and I hope we’re entering that end-game.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 is — wait, really? We’re only up to issue 3? Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz have packed each issue with plenty of story and old-school Turtle magic, so it feels like this book has been going on for longer three months. Casey Jones shares more of his background with Raphael, who has no idea who he is or what he’s doing in New York, while the three remaining Turtle Bros argue about the futility of continuing the search for their missing Raph after a year of frustration. The latter is particularly effective as character building, as Leonardo’s commitment to duty and following orders runs headlong into Donatello’s pragmatism. Neither brother is right or wrong, it’s just a conflict of personalities, and it shows us who these guys are rather than telling us. This one ends with the implication that the next issue will be a royal rumble between the three turtles and Hob, a mutated cat who owes Splinter some eye-for-an-eye payback. And who knows, maybe Raph and Casey show up on cue to pitch in?
Batman the Brave and the Bold 12 guest stars Zatanna in a special Halloween issue. Bats and Zats go to the House of Mystery to investigate some trouble Cain and Able got into, namely, Abel is now a tree. Who’s responsible for this and how can Batman make them pay for being a scofflaw? It’s awesome the way Sholly Fisch works obscure (by today’s standards) characters into this title and makes them all come across as cool and interesting rather than devolving into a bunch of ham-handed, “I’m Cain, I’m an evil immortal storyteller and I’m constantly killing my brother” type description. This is always a fun read, but the sheer number of classic DC horror characters who appear in this lift it up to a new level. This may be the best Halloween story you’ll read this Halloween — just saying. And I don’t even like Zatanna.
Now, about Amazing Spider-Man 672. Oh, ASM 672. This penultimate chapter of Spider Island really and truly teams up Spidey and Mary Jane as a super hero power couple, and the two do amazing things together. Sure, Pete’s the brains and the “true” super hero, but Mary Jane has been infected by the Spider Virus so she’s got the same powers, plus the benefit of common sense. Her ability to boost Pete up, focus him on the problem at hand and believe in him while also busting his chops a little is exactly what wives do to you. I say that with respect, because as smart as Pete is, it’s Mary Jane who believes in his intelligence and decency, and it’s a combination of those two things that makes a real difference during this crisis, not his proportionate spider-strength or the ability to walk on walls. Dan Slott has made Spider Island the first multi-part/big event book I’ve enjoyed in years – like, decades of years. Slott writes a great Spider-Man, sure; there’s also lots of action and quips, there’s science, there are plentiful nods to the character’s long history, and that’s all part of the comic fan experience. But his vision for Spider-Man is very simple, and unusual for a modern book: Spider-Man’s not the hero, Peter Parker is. His spider powers give him an edge, but what makes him a super hero is the same stuff you and I have. Heart, guts, a belief in the goodness of humanity, a sense of justice – these are the elements of a super hero, not the ability to spin a web. Also, there’s a final page development that will make you scream, and it’s either because it makes you believe Pete and Mary Jane are getting back together (yay!) or because it reminds you of how fantastic they were as a team and you’re mad that they’re no longer married. Dan Slott is crafting a masterpiece not just of Spider-Man stories, but of comics themselves. I’m convinced that in 10 years, all us old guys will be telling the young guys to pick this run up for its historical import, and because it’s exactly the type of book you should give to kids. It’s a story about a decent guy who’s trying to do right in the world, and sometimes his part-time job gets a little crazy, but he doesn’t let it get him down. Amazing Spider-Man continues to be inspirational, classic storytelling in the Mighty Marvel Manner, and it’s undoubtedly the best thing I read this week.
-Paul
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One of my favorite bookstores in St. Louis. Star Clipper offers not only the best selection of comic books and graphic novels in the city, but also a cornucopia of art, design and pop-culture related books and magazines. 
