It is late at night, and I’ve been reading comics. You know what that means … it’s time to play The Best Thing I Read This Week!
The very first thing I read this week was Peanuts 0, from Kaboom!, because I was extremely curious about how this was going to work. Can a comic version of Charles Schulz’s Peanuts work without Schulz’s oversight? I don’t want to start out negative, but I can’t think of a way to end this sentence that comes across as positive. One of Charles Schulz’s great talents as a storyteller was his economy. He could do more with four panels — with one panel — with one figure in a single panel — than most artists can do with an entire book. He had broken down his style to the bare essentials so that each panel delivered the maximum narrative punch. Also, his comic timing was exquisite; you never see a telegraphed joke in a Schulz story, not even with something as well-worn as Charlie Brown kicking a football. So of course, the Kaboom! series features creators breaking all sorts of “Schulz rules,” for lack of a better term, in their attempts. Individual stories go for multiple pages, the time between jokes is too great, and none of few jokes feel right for Peanuts. They’re not terrible, but they’re certainly not Peanuts-grade. And then the error is compounded by Kaboom! mixing in classic Peanuts strips, so you can see exactly what’s wrong and how it’s supposed to work. The first original story, “Carnival of Animals,” takes five pages to get to some sort of a punchline, and along the way we get lots of words, most of them explaining the action we see in the panels. Then we get a one-page Schulz classic, which features seven panels and one word balloon and it’s so effortless funny that part of the humor stems from how easily it all hangs together. Look, there’s a reason the Schulz estate didn’t hire a talented ghostwriter to continue the daily strip when Schulz died, and this comic proves that was the right decision.
/looks up at torrent of words
I may be taking this a smidge too seriously. But c’mon — you’re not gonna find someone to effectively emulate all the things Schulz could do.
Thor: The Deviants Sage 1, is a limited series by Robert Rodi and Stephen Segovia that features Thor having to recover a purloined evil device of cosmic destruction in order to save the world — that’s a classic McGuffin right there. The thief is Ereshkigal, who I guess had a run-in with Thor in the past since he recognizes her right away. She’s part of Jack Kirby’s Deviants mythos, which means the Eternals will figure in here somewhere, which means we’re heading in a positive direction as far as I’m concerned. Rodi scripted my favorite Thor series of the past few years (“For Asgard,” which was over-long but still good), and Segovia is a dynamic talent, but Ereshkigal is wearing a ridiculous costume for a woman so well-endowed up front, and that’s saying a lot in modern comics.
The fact that she hides a grapefruit-sized evil device of cosmic destruction in the non-existent bra of her skin-tight costume is patently absurd, but other than that this is a good first issue. The story’s well set-up, Thor doesn’t come across as a pompous jerk, we look to be in for some heavy cosmic action — there’s a lot to enjoy here.
Elric: The Balance Lost 5 is also pretty swell. I’ve ragged on the series a bit for being way too speedy for a story as complex as Chris Roberson is trying to tell, but this issue finally brings all four incarnations of the Eternal Champion together, which results in a lot less to-and-fro from page to page, which results in a more coherent storyline. Our guys — Elric, Dorian Hawkmoon, Prince Corum and Eric Beck — are really up against it as a genuine Chaos God bursts through the dimensional barrier and manifests on their current plane, thereby wreaking all sorts of havoc. My quibbles with this are twofold. Fold one: Corum still only has five fingers rather than the necessary six on his alien hand (minor). Fold the second: This seems to be setting up Eric Beck as the pivotal character of our tetrarchy of heroes, and that’s a huge mistake. I know writers love to use the “regular guy” as our point of entry into their fantastic universe because they believe it makes it easier for readers to relate to the story, but I hate this particular trope. I’ve been reading comics for 35 years — I have no problem relating to exotic belief systems, strange worlds or iconoclastic characters. Also, the book is titled “Elric,” not “Eric;” for a book that’s supposedly centered on the adventures of my favorite albino, there really hasn’t been a lot of stuff for my favorite albino to do. And yet, I liked this particular issue, because it feels like after a couple months of wheel-spinning, we’re moving into the high-action, dark fantasy, Moorcockian-type comic my life has been lacking.
And while I’m complaining, I’d like to say this about Static Shock 3: I feel like this initial storyline is dragging a bit. Don’t get me wrong, this is probably my second favorite DC book at the moment; but if DC was serious about hooking new readers, a short, well-defined story with full resolution would have been the stronger opening gambit. Static has been wrasslin’ with the Slate Gang for three issues now, and it’s kinda gettin’ old. Either he can beat ‘em or he can’t; let’s settle this thing. Scott McDaniel and John Rozum keep feeding us more tidbits about Static’s sister and her clone, and honestly, it’s much more interesting than watching him fight another three rounder against the power rangers. Yes, I who am constantly advocating for more and better action in my books, is complaining about action in my comic books. But this is the same action over and over, three times now. Resolve it already, and let’s move on to solving the mystery of which Sharon is the real Sharon, and why there are two, and who’s responsible for the copy.
OMAC is definitely my current favorite DC book. Issue 3 features Kevin Kho (OMAC’s human symbiote) getting thrown in jail — a jail which happens to be run by a crazy brain-mutant. While Kevin deals with prison, Brother Eye has to deal with Maxwell Lord and the evil brain-mutant, who bears the incredibly Kirby-sounding name, “Psy-Fi Man,” with mixed results. See, this is how the new DC should be working. Every issue of this gives us new info on OMAC and also gives us a new antagonist, keeping things fresh and lively. OMAC has lots of action, an intriguing story and fantastic art by Keith Giffen. Still my favorite DC book, by a long shot.
Warlord of Mars 12 wraps up the Heretics of Mars storyline, and it’s kinda weird. John Carter, the Warlord of Mars, never appears in this arc, except as a heroic statue. That’s not bad — in fact, it’s kinda cool, as Dejah Thoris and her and John’s teenage son, Carthoris, solve the mystery and take care of business quite handily. We get to see how their relationship works, and how Barsoom reveres John Carter, and more of Dejah’s steely determination and intelligence. It feels wrong to write this, considering her lack of a costume or any real clothing at all, but Dejah Thoris is probably the most fully realized female character in all the books I read. Writer Arvid Nelson has developed her personality and made her much more than a damsel in distress — she holds her own here, and in her own book as well. OK, this month, Carthoris comes to the rescue in a key moment, but Dejah is the brains in the family, and no less brave than her husband. That bravery gets her in a whole mess of trouble next month when the Gods of Mars storyline starts, but John Carter returns and … I don’t want to spoil it. It’s a great, nay, a classic pulp story full of insane coincidences, furious action and prodigious imagination. After a full year of Warlord of Mars, I say with great satisfaction that Dynamite has done a whole lot right with this book.
Even more right is Roger Langridge’s Snarked 2. Langridge’s amalgamation of Lewis Carrol’s various stories and his own love of W.C. Fields, Popeye and the classic adventure stories of your own childhood make this book a delight. Princess Scarlett has strong-armed Wilburforce J. Walrus into acting as her and her brother Rusty’s protectors, which is quite a feat for an eight-year old, no matter that she’s now the acting queen. Her foes have hired The Griffon, a one-eyed bounty hunter who always gets his prey, and the only thing standing in his way is the magnificent bulk of Wilburforce and his steel-trap brain. In almost any other week this would be the best thing I read, but … well, drop down a paragraph so we can discuss something huge.
Dan Slott wraps up Spider Island with The Amazing Spider-Man 673, and I’m shocked to admit this was the most painless and entertaining big summer crossover I’ve ever read. Ever. (Keep in mind I haven’t read a crossover since DC’s Eclipso way back in 1993 or so, and I didn’t even finish that one.) Everyone who turned into a spider-monster is now naked (including Herc, who’s truly in his element at last), J. Jonah Jameson deals with the aftermath of an almost-wrecked Manhattan, Aunt May and Jay drop by for a quick visit to be certain Peter’s ok, Peter achieves some sort of rapprochement with his clone, Ben Reilly, and two enormous, very serious developments occur in Peter’s personal life. I can’t tell you what those are here, because I don’t want to spoil it. But holy radioactive spider bites do I want to talk about this. Every couple weeks I rave about Dan Slott as a writer but COME. ON. If you’re not reading Amazing Spider-Man, I feel sorry for you. I kinda pity you, in fact. Slott works the comic book like no one else at the moment. He understands action, he knows how to write humor, he understands pacing and the vital art of revealing information in ways other than the huge expository block, he appreciates the long history of his characters but isn’t afraid to make major changes (he’s really unafraid to make changes), he believes that comics should be fun, and above all, he’s perfectly willing to step aside and let the artist have the last word. In this instance it’s Stefano Caselli, and his final page is a thing of consummate beauty.
The Amazing Spider-Man 673 is the best comic book I read this week, and it might end up being the best thing I read this year, superhero division (that’s a hedge to keep Northlanders in the running, and I will not apologize for that). Let’s recap: I hadn’t read ASM on a regular basis since Erik Larson was pencilling, which means before Image Comics existed. I returned because of Dan Slott, who has swiftly ascended to my personal Mount Rushmore of Marvel Creators (Lee, Kirby, Shooter, Claremont, Slott — yes, that’s one head too many, and yes, we can fight about if you like), and I regret nothing since that point. You old guys may understand this, but do you remember how way back in the 80s we all fought over whether the Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four or the Claremont/Byrne was the greatest sustained feat of comic book creation of all time? Well, I’m willing to entertain arguments that Dan Slott and his rotating cast of artists could bump Claremont/Byrne. Seriously, jump on this book now. Don’t wait for next month — you could be reading this today.
-Paul
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