Welcome to October and the second month of DC’s New 52. It’s time to officially stop calling DC’s mishmash relaunch “new”; the bloom is off that rose, and the comics are just DC’s regular line now. And man, a whole ocean of words were written about DC’s newfound love for sex/nudity/Starfire last month — Laura Hudson over at Comic Alliance pretty much set the highwater mark for intelligent comic book criticism with her column on the issue — but there’s something on that same topic that still bothers me. And that something is Dejah Thoris.

Dejah Thoris 7 is the second chapter in the new Pirates of Mars story arc, and like the preceding six issues, this one balances exposition and action — and a whole lot of cheesecake. I would count myself a fan of all three of Dynamite’s Mars titles, but after reading Hudson’s impassioned and clearly-reasoned explanation of what’s wrong with the sexualization of women in comic books (bottom line: It exists at all, and it’s way too pervasive), I’m wondering if I should like this book so much. Hudson makes the point that much of the art in DC’s big offenders (Red Hood and Catwoman) is about pleasing the male viewer in a rather prurient fashion; it’s not about characterization or the character being a sex-positive woman or even story related. It’s just wish fulfillment for adolescent males. Dejah spends some tied up, and she still wears her double nickels and a hanky outfit, and there are some questionable poses in this.

However, her dinky outfit is more than what her creator, Edgar Rice Burroughs, envisioned her wearing, and on Barsoom what’s good for the goose is good for the gander: All the dudes are buff musclemen who wear Speedos and jewelry and that’s about it. More importantly, Dejah really is the hero of her own book, regularly saving men through her courage, intelligence and skill with a blade. I’d like to believe the clothing equality and Dejah’s own heroic nature makes this book not oppressive — but I don’t know that I’m the one to determine that. I think it’s a solid comic, always entertaining and true to the best parts of the original source material, and I don’t feel like a creep for reading it. I hope that’s the right answer.

Speaking of DC (we were, like 8.000 words ago), Static Shock 2 by Scott McDaniel and John Rozum builds greatly on the groundwork laid in the first issue. Static continues his fight against Virule (a sorta alien-looking assassin) and the Slate Gang (a bunch of teens on Tron’s LightCycles), he exhibits more of his trademark intelligence and problem solving and we discover that in his civilian life, he has a sister who has an exact duplicate of herself that lives with the family because no one can determine which one is the genuine article and which one is the copy. Honestly, I liked the action and Static’s whole super-smart internal monologue, but the bit with his sister hooked me in a huge way. I’m dying to find out more about that whole deal. I don’t want to jinx this, so let’s just say I’m starting to think Static is going to appear regularly in these reviews.

I’m totally throwing caution to the wind with OMAC, however; Keith Giffen and Dan Didio’s take on Jack Kirby’s classic sci-fi super soldier is one of the best new books of the year. Much of my enthusiasm is rooted in Giffen’s art, which is the Kirbyiest looking his work has ever been — I approve whole-heartedly. This issue sees Kevin Kho learning more about what OMAC is (a computer virus that allows him to transform into the super-powerful blue guy with mohawk also called OMAC), who Brother Eye is (a more-than-slightly-menacing AI that infected him with the OMAC and is now using him to further its own ends) and what OMAC stands for (One Machine Attack Construct). This things a thrill ride from start to finish, delving into conspiracy theory, having OMAC brawl with Amazing Man and delivering a surprise on the last page. This is exactly what I want from an OMAC comic. I’m shocked and thrilled that I like this so much.

Turok Son of Stone 4 is also a great comic, but nobody’s reading it. And after this month you can’t read it, because it’s been canceled like all of the other Gold Key revival books Dark Horse was publishing. Ah, well. It was fun while it lasted.

Fun and then some also describes Snarked 1, written and drawn by Roger Langridge. If you missed the 0 issue of this, don’t worry. Everything you need to know is contained within this book. The King is missing, his children Princess Scarlett and Prince Rusty are determined to find him, the King’s advisors are determined to steal power for themselves, and Wilberforce J. Walrus and his pal McDunk are bound and determined to just steal whatever gets them by. Langridge draws his inspiration from the works of Lewis Carrol (there’s a certain smiling cat who appears this month) as well as the great comedians of yore (W.J. Walrus bears more than a passing resemblance to W.C. Fields, and Dudley Moore & Peter Cook make a cameo as well). There’s more than a whiff of classic E.C. Segar to Langridge’s art; Langridge has a more cartoony style, but the resemblance is unmistakable. So to sum up, Snarked is a witty, funny, smart adventure story in the style of the Golden Age of Sunday funnies — I don’t know that it gets much better than that.

And yet, I find myself shocked to admit that OMAC is the best thing I read this week. It pays homage to Kirby’s original creation while charting its own course, and it really and truly is a fantastic superhero comic book — and no women are denigrated within its pages.

-Paul

Earlier this week I wrote a mid-size essay concerning how I feel so far about DC’s “New 52.” I re-read it the next morning, cleaned it up a bit and then threw the whole thing away. There were two reasons for this. One, everybody with an internet connection and a vested interest in comic books is writing about the New 52 — there’s not much that hasn’t been said. Two, I wrote a lot of argle-bargle and fooferall, but at the very end of the piece I finally stumbled across what it was I really feel about this whole deal, and it was concise enough to fit in a few sentences, not a big honking post.

Dear DC: I don’t care how great your sales are right now — anybody can sell issue number one. But if you don’t have life-altering stories in the pipeline for later this year — I’m talking specifically about comics on the order of the O’Neil/Adams Green Lantern & Green Arrow, Miller’s Dark Knight Returns or Moore’s Swamp Thing — your current huge audience is going to evaporate by issue seven. Because nothing I’ve seen so far has justified the “new, different, better” stuff that’s being thrown around. It’s all the same stuff, with new creative teams moving the pieces around to their liking.

Case in point is the only New 52 I bought this week, Legion of Super-Heroes 1 by Paul Levitz and Francis Portela. After years of missing the boat on LSH, I finally caught on in a big way in 2011. How does the Legion fare in their brand new beginning? Well, the surviving Legion members are still licking their wounds from their battle with Saturn Queen, the team is still split by time and space, Mon-El is still trying to get everything under control while simultaneously adjusting to the loss of his Green Lantern Power Ring, Brainiac still wants to wrest the leadership away from Mon-El — this is issue 17 of the series they just cancelled as far as I can tell. Levitz wrote the previous 16, and this just continues many of the plots he already had in motion. This is great news for me — I was really enjoying Levitz’s run — but it proves that there was no reason to pull the plug on the prior incarnation other than it’s more fun to market the New 52 than the New 51 plus LSH. With that in mind, this is the best of the New 52 as far as I’m concerned, because Levitz is focused on telling a story, not wiping the slate and starting over with LSH: Year One in the Year 3000.

Another number one this week? Game of Thrones 1, by Daniel Abraham and Tommy Patterson (Dynamite Entertainment). I’ve read the book but haven’t seen the show, your honor, so I feel qualified to say I didn’t picture some of these scenes the way Patterson drew them. Maybe this is more like the HBO show, but I thought the lands beyond the Wall weren’t primal or grim enough and Eddard Stark’s sword, Ice, is in no way representative of what a greatsword should look like — too short, too puny. Another cavil is with the pacing; a lot of ground is covered in this one issue, so some elements seem glossed over, or worse, missing entirely. I want to like this — a rising fantasy tide carries all fantasy comic books, you know — but I fear the density of George R.R. Martin’s prose is going to be gutted by the austerity of 22 pages plus ads.

The Ape/Human war that’s been brewing through five issues of Planet of the Apes (Boom) finally blossoms into full-on war between the species. The humans of Skin Town have split up to attack on several fronts, and hoo-boy, pregnant lady Sullivan procured a Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher from Brother Kale. Following Chekhov’s law, that RPG goes off before the end, and it means bad news for the humans. We also get the backstory on the slaughter at Delphi, when the Apes really gave it to the humans, as seen through the eyes of Bako, who was there. Daryl Gregory has plotted a mean and taut little story that continues to ratchet up the tension these past six months, and Carlos Magno’s art serves that story well. POTA has turned into one of the better sci-fi action comics out there, and it’s stayed on-schedule. If you’re a fan of post-apocalyptic dystopian fantasy — and as an American, it’s your birthright — POTA is definitely worth checking out. This one just keeps ascending.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is also on the rise. In issue 2 we discover more about Raphael’s mysterious absence from the rest of the guys (touch of amnesia, doesn’t remember ‘em) we get another sizable chunk of the Turtles’ origin and we witness Raphael and Casey Jones meeting for the first time. That’s the best part of this book for me. Their original meeting was a brief “good guys fight one another because they misunderstand each other’s intentions and then team up,” while this is a more heroic first encounter; Raph saves Casey from a beating, then Casey reveals his masked vigilante persona to Raph and the two make plans to go beat up bad guys. Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz and Dan Duncan have done a fine job recapturing the spirit of the original B&W series while mixing things up enough that I’m not certain what’s going to happen next. Surprise (and relieved) hit of the summer for me; this could have been depressing and terrible, but instead it’s fun and exciting.

Also surprising this month is Conan: Road of Kings 8. Last month I was whining about Roy Thomas saddling Conan with a child (not his, don’t worry) and lamenting how many ways that could turn to crap. This month, it didn’t turn to crap. Thomas has the little ankle-biter be more help than hindrance to the Cimmerian (look at her distract those guards!), which is kinda stupid and unbelievable — most kids under 9 don’t talk this easily to adults or spontaneously demonstrate a gift for lateral thinking that wasn’t present last month — but, well, this was at least a good read. I’ll accept a child generating an impromptu and successful strategy for getting past guards if you give me enough Conan slashing and head-crushing giant insects in a catacomb. Mike Hawthorne’s art however, ehhhhh, it’s not growing on me, but I can successfully ignore it in favor of the words.

Tiny Titans 44 is thankfully unaffected by the New 52 stuff, because it’s a DC Kids book. Beast Boy is terrified of the crossing guards, who happen to be the members of the Doom Patrol. There are some good laughs in this, but it seemed a little one dimensional. I know, griping about kids comics not having enough symbolism and deeper meanings is petty and stupid, but Tiny Titans usually has a couple of jokes that are there just for adults — I couldn’t find ‘em this issue. That’s OK, they can’t all be the issue in which Baltazar and Franco poop all over Red Hood (metaphorically).

The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror 17 is maybe the scariest comic I’ve read this year. Zander Cannon and Gene Ha craft an homage to the silent vampire film Nosferatu that is visually beautiful and delightfully eerie, and then Jim Woodring delivers a throwback EC Comics-style horror story that is stomach-churning and quite high-brow. My only complaint is that neither story is shticky enough to really feel like a Simpsons’ story, but they’re both fantastic examples of two different approaches to horror comics. This is a $5 comic (!), but it’s worth it.

Dark Horse Presents 4 costs $8, and it’s also worth it. There’s a terrific Evan Dorkin & Jill Thompson Beasts of Burden story in here, Carla Speed McNeil continues the very good Finder series, Chuck Parker and Sanford Greene get down to giant octopus fighting in their new chapter of Rotten Apple, and Steve Niles and Christopher Mitten give us a new serial to enjoy, Criminal Macabre, which is about a hardboiled detective who’s just recently risen from the grave. How hard-boiled is apparent when he brawls with his undead mentor and destroys his office, just because he likes a dust-up. DHP has gone monthly as of this issue, which is a blessing and a curse. If you want to keep up with it that’s $100 a year just for one book; however, the book in question is the best anthology going in terms of stories, variety and packaging, so the $8 seems like a deal.

Northlanders 44 is less of a steal and more of a gift. Brian Wood continues Northlander’s victory lap with this third installment of the tale of Iceland’s settling by violent Norwegian immigrants. Ulf Hauksson continues to consolidate his power — that means slaughtering anyone in Iceland who looks at him askance, particularly if they’re affiliated with the Belgarsson family — and trying to beget an heir on his wife, Una, recently freed from slavery. Like every issue of Northlanders to date, this one depicts hard people doing terrible things to each other for the right reasons and for the wrong reasons. And then in the middle, Brian Wood sets a scene between Ulf and Una that makes you question whether Ulf is sociopathic by nature, or if the price of an ambitious man’s dreams is simply always paid in blood. While you’re pondering that, Ulf lays bare his heart to his wife and reveals that he may indeed be insane with bloodlust, but he’s also a romantic and a dreamer, as well as being revenge’s number one fan in the whole world. No other comic on the racks attempts to depict the interior life of its characters — or to humanize them, for good or ill — as Northlanders well as does. I’m going to miss this book so hard in six months.

Yeah, Northlanders is the best thing I read this week. I toyed with the idea of removing it from contention since it’s dead in the water (and because it’s always the best thing I read, except for that one time), but as long as Northlanders exists I’ll chose to celebrate it.

-Paul

How long has it been since I’ve written one of these? It’s had to have been almost a month… A lot has been going on around the store so… I apologize for not keeping up. I know it sucks when a blog that used to update 6 times a week starts doing 1 a week. So here’s me doing my part to get us running more often.

A few weeks back, when Flashpoint ended and Justice League #1 launched, it seems like the world overlooked a few good gems that were hidden or passed by during DC’s Juggernaut of a launch. One of these books was Vescell #1. This is the story of… Well… The main character is kinda like a courier. He works for a company called Vescell, which transfers peoples minds and spirits from one body to a new one for a hefty fee. Think: Dollhouse, but kinda sideways-reverse. Does that make any sense? Anyway, part of what makes this possible is that a few years back, this funky dimension merged with Earth and then there was an influx of magic and junk. The other dimension is more or less Hell, by the way. So… The main character’s girlfriend is also trapped in this dimension, sorta… She can float around like a ghost, but she can also be summoned into the body of someone else, transforming that person into her. So… The main character, Maurico, tends to pick up a lot of hookers to ‘bodyjack” for his lady. This is shown to a comical effect as Maurico’s girlfriend, Avery, is a voluptuous women who often can’t fit the clothing of the women she possesses.

Other things of interest include Maurico’s partner, a fairy named Machi. She loves to eat food and he sometimes uses her as ammo for his gun. Machi and Avery don’t really get along either. But there’s this rival company to Vescell called Cybercan. Instead of transferring souls and whatnot, they just make robots of people and dump their brains in them and call it a day. Its not nearly as comical as I explained, but it sets the tone for the world and what these characters have to put up with. Anyway, if the cover to the book is any indication, yes, there is nudity and sexual content within these pages. It’s not for everyone, but the story being told here by Enrique Carrion is pretty cool, and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Vescell was optioned for a movie or television show. It’s just that cool. We’ve also got John “Roc” Upchurch on art duty, and he does good work. He’s not afraid to give these characters different body-types. No one looks the same as the next in this book. That’s one of the best compliments that I can give to an artist.

So yeah, that’s it. Vescell. It’s put out by Image, and it’s a hefty 32 page book with no advertisements for $2.99. You just can’t beat that. So come on in, check it out, have a good read and get your money’s worth.

-Fleet

So, the DC Universe began anew this week with Justice League 1. I did not buy it. I wasn’t buying the Justice League from two months ago, and I’m not going to start now just because I can watch them all come together for the first time once again. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy it if you’re interested in that sort of thing. I’m trying to maintain as positive an outlook as possible concerning DC’s do-over, and the thought of buying JL 1 only to watch that origin story unfold one more time from a different camera angle made me feel negative. So I avoided it. I hope you liked it, especially if you’re one of the hundreds of new fans who came to the shop just to see what all the fuss was about.

I did buy The Mighty Thor 5, the Matt Fraction/Olivier Coipel book that I feel less interested in every month. Thor is still fighting Silver Surfer on behalf of Odin, who’s busy trading headbutts with Galactus (don’t ask), and Thor and Surfer have settled in to a nice rhythm of “thrown hammer/hit him with my surfboard, then shout tough-guy banter at each other for half a page.” I want to like this book — it’s Thor, after all — but Fraction’s choices baffle me. Odin just recently (like, past six months of real-world time) re-emerged from the Odin sleep, so of course he has to go back into his mighty cosmic sleeping bag now. A good rule of thumb for the modern comic creator should be, “Don’t bring someone back from the dead/parallel dimension/eternal nap time if you don’t have plans for them beyond the whole, ‘Hey, look who’s back issue.” That is all.

Butcher Baker the Righteous Maker 6 continues the meandering story of Bruce Campbell and Jackie Gleason from his star turn as Sheriff Buford T. Justice in Smokey and the Bandit as the former tries to kill all his world’s supervillains at the behest of Jay Leno and Dick Cheney, and the latter tries to catch him in the act. Mike Huddleston makes this book one of the best-looking things on the rack, but Joe Casey’s story continues to read like a “Hey, remember Charles Manson? Wouldn’t he make a great supervillain?” brainstorming session gone awry. So why have I bought six issues of this when I won’t even give a shiny new Justice League a shot? Because this story has no Batman in it.

Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente’s Herc is kinda the polar opposite of the preceding books. Pak and Van Lente have a clear idea about who Hercules is and how he should behave, and as a result their story so far has been focused and forward moving. I am also beguiled by the emergence of Man-Bull as a key figure in the book, if I’m being honest. This is issue 6.1, part of Marvel’s relaunch-free attempt at luring new readers, so it’s more a summation of recent events and character introduction than an actual story. But it has Mike Grell art, which always earns bonus points in my book, and the framing device at least tries to make things more interesting. What really is interesting is how much I’ve enjoyed this series so far. Pak and Van Lente depowered Herc at the end of Chaos Wars, and rather than sending him out in the world to mope and try to recover his powers, they’ve had him embrace being human again after long millennia. It’s a nice change of pace to see a superhero enjoying his life rather than lamenting the loss of his superior status.

Planet of the Apes is another series I’ve been greatly enjoying. Issue 5 here only costs $1 in an effort to entice POTA fans who saw the new movie and are looking for another ape fix, which seems like a pretty good idea. Daryl Gregory and Carlos Magno continue their tense stand-off between the Apes and the humans, with the humans being on the pointy end of the stick. Several key plot points change in this one, with the big one probably being suspicious religious guy Brother Kale’s announcement that he can provide the humans with advanced weaponry in their fight against the apes. This means next month’s issue should be a bloodbath. This incarnation of POTA has been quite the corker in many ways. I like it.

Warlord of Mars: Fall of Barsoom 2 is a little more opaque and more difficult to follow. Some of that is no doubt it is because Robert Place Napton and Roberto Castro have had to conceive entirely new characters, and some is because this is only issue 2 and the table is still being set. If you’re unfamiliar with Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom stories, I don’t know that you’ll understand why the atmosphere factory our hero, Tak Nan Lee, is trying to perfect is so vital. (I think if the main John Carter Warlord of Mars storyline hadn’t lagged behind schedule in the first few months, anybody who reads that series would understand the importance of Tak Nan Lee and his work right from the get-go.) Also, the exact nature of the conflict between the Red Martians and White Martians like Tak Nan Lee remains unclear. I know the natural state of things on ERB’s Mars is one of constant warfare, but you’d think the human-looking Martians would have some unity in the face of the savage, four-armed and big-tusked Tharks. I guess there’s no explaining racism, even on Mars. And why do the Whites wear full outfits and the Reds wear next to nothing? Are there differences rooted in fashion? The fact that Dynamite cans support three monthly titles based on the Barsoom stories is very encouraging, however. That Pixar movie isn’t even close to coming out yet, and here’s Dynamite way ahead of the curve.

And then along came a spider. Amazing Spider-Man 668 sees the Spider Island virus spread throughout Manhattan, and now everybody’s a Spider-Man, including almost all of NYC’s petty criminals and super-villains, and regular citizens, like Pete’s girlfriend, Carlie. It’s a cool idea, and Dan Slott and Humberto Ramos are really pulling out all the stops. I didn’t know how much I wanted Pete to have a female spider-partner until I saw the two of them racing each other to work via webslinging. There’s a real sense of joy in ASM these days, and I’m a huge fan of that. And also, *SPOILER ALERT* Slott has Peter deliver an impassioned speech on the basic decency of all humans, even NYC residents, that rallies the Spider-enhanced citizens to action. Not only is it a great comic book moment, but it’s the sort of speech someone like Peter — scientist, forward-thinker, optimist on the human condition — *should* make. Normally I avoid these multi-part crossovers, but Slott has made this whole ordeal so entertaining and heroic that I can’t wait for the next installment — it’s like I’ve been infected with something.

The verdict here is clear. Amazing Spider-Man continues its impressive run of being awesome and human, and also being most definitely about superheroes. ASM 668 is the best thing I read this week.

-Paul

Oh, mama. I bought a ton of comics this week, and I have no idea how it happened. It’s after 1 a.m. right now, because it’s taken me this long to read everything, and in certain cases, read again. Don’t be afraid to read a book, read something else, and then return to the earlier book. You never know what you’ll pick up on a second, closer reading until you try it. Because of the potential length of this — I’m verbose, what of it? — some of these little reviews may be micro-reviews, especially if it’s a case of restating something I’ve said many times before.

That’s my sly way of introducing Northlanders 43. You all know I love the book and I’m gutted by its cancellation, so let me just add further that creator/writer Brian Wood is building towards a massive flaming pyre of death with this final arc. Of course, this being a book about vikings, it’s important to note that after every cleansing fire in Norse mythology, there’s an eventual rebirth (wishful thinking on my part; there’ve been rumors that Wood is going to take Northlanders to another publisher). Iceland is being settled by vikings in 880 A.D. in this issue, and the little boy of last month is now a ruthless, hard nut who slaughters a village of enemies to get his way. After killing his mother last go round, this issue’s mass-murder and banishment of his father is almost prosaic. Almost. Brian Wood still limns the essence of a character in the most efficient, slashing strokes — Ulf Haukson is a psychotic, ambitious and somehow engenders a little sympathy because its his father’s fault he’s this way — which is to say, Northlanders remains the most personally compelling book on the market, for at least seven more months.

FF 8 is less compelling than it once was as far as I’m concerned. Multiple Reeds now fight our Reed and his father on the High Evolutionary’s turf while the Inhumans choose to enter the fray. It’s kinda awesome, but we’ve been on the cusp of this fight for three months now, and we’re still not really getting anywhere. Also, everybody but the Thing shows up in this issue, and when you’re getting to the big punch-out we’ve apparently been circling for I don’t know how many months, Thing is kinda the guy you’d think would be most in his element. But no — not even present. A year ago at this time, I was fretting that Jonathan Hickman was going to kill ol’ Benjy. He didn’t, but he may as well have, because Thing’s been the odd man out in this book. Personal challenge to Jonathan Hickman: try to have Thing punch somebody, somewhere, some time in 2011. It sounds easy — heck, Dan Slott’s done it a couple times over in Amazing Spider-Man — but time is running out, and you haven’t been able to make it happen yet.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1 — how awesome is it to type that? — is a pretty great comic book first issue. If you’re familiar with the original Mirage series, Kevin Eastman, Tom Waltz and Dan Duncan touch on some very well-loved plot points in this updated relaunch (Prof. Baxter, April O’Neil, Casey Jones and even nervous lab guy Chet are present), while also twisting things around a bit. Baxter’s a lot more nefarious from the beginning, the turtles are still actual turtles and a certain Krang makes a veiled appearance much earlier in the series. No Shredder or Foot yet, but you know that’s coming. I had a great deal of hope for this series, and after reading issue 1, my hopes are even higher. Everything is here, but it feels a little newer and a little shinier. This is a great time to start (or resume) your relationship with TMNT — I didn’t realize how much I missed the goofy humor and pure action of the series until I actually had this in hand.

Following Cerebus 12 is an oddball book in that most of it is given over to interviews and story analysis, with very little traditional comic book content. But you should always expect the unexpected with Dave Sim. For me, Sim’s interview with David Petersen (Mouse Guard genius) was worth the cover price. Primarily because it’s always interesting to eavesdrop on two experts talking about their chosen field, but also because it sparked an interesting conversation about Mouse Guard and D&D with Steenz, the ultra-cool catlady who prowls around Star Clipper just generally being awesome and enthusiastic about comics. If there’s anything you can count on a Dave Sim book doing, it’s sparking a conversation. Although, Dave himself notes on the letters page that of the three projects he’s been working on (Glamourpuss, Cerebus TV and this), nobody talks about or comments on any of it, so he’s probably dropping this book. It’s a shame; his conversation with Petersen is fantastic, and I’d like to read more of his one-on-one things such as this.

Speaking of D&D, Dungeons and Dragons 10 came out, and it’s a great read, as usual. I know I’m the only one buying it — although maybe Steenz is? — so I won’t bore you (too much) with discussing it. Let’s just say that when your wildcard team member, the avaricious and relentlessly self-centered thief, is crafting your strategy, things are going to get out of whack quickly and repeatedly. And they do. This book always reads like the best parts of a really high-caliber campaign, thanks to John Rogers.

I bought The Iron Age: Omega 1 because of the promise of classic-era Power Man and Iron Fist, and technically, they’re in this book. Briefly, and with little to do. This is more a Tony Stark and Hank Pym story, and I liked that just fine, but I had expectations of modern-era Tony Stark having to negotiate a plan with the take-no-prisoners Luke Cage and the touchy-feely-let’s-be-socially-conscious naiveté of Danny Rand. Yes, I’m disappointed. Dazzler is in this one more than Luke & Danny, and I’ve never ever cared about whatever it is Dazzler does. Still, it’s a good Tony and Hank story.

Justice League of America Retro-Active 1: the 90s, however, is an amazing piece of comic book art. If you’ve never experienced the J.M. DeMatteis/Keith Giffen (with penciller Kevin Maguire) Justice League International years, this is going to sell you on the entire concept. The new story in the first half is as splendiferous and entertaining a comic book as you’ll find. Characterizations are perfect, jokes are plentiful, action is hot, Guy Gardner is a colossal a-hole and yet somehow likeable and issues of sexism and stupidity are referenced in such a way that you agree with the principal (stereotyping women is wrong) even as you chuckle while the guy heroes do it. This is in essence a comic book cliché — a team fight breaks out over some false assumptions — and it’s so fresh and beautifully done that you go along for the ride. The back-up story is a 90s classic by the same team, and in it you see how these guys handled the serious stuff; which is to say, with just as much panache and respect as they deal out the silly stuff. If DC were using these guys’ ideas as the groundwork for the new universe, I’d feel a whole lot better about the whole thing, Instead, once again, this is just a tip of the hat to a classic of yesterday. Consider it one last look before the first spade-full of dirt hits the coffin, if you like.

Bart Simpson 62: Wage Slave is another fine read. Honestly, since I saw the way my nephews flipped out over the mere idea of Simpsons’ comics at Free Comic Book Day, I’ve been buying these to pass on to them. Now I’m kinda regretting it, because books like this I’d like to hang on to for my own benefit (selfish uncle!). Two big stories explore Bart, Homer and Grandpa Simpson attempting to rebuild a classic car for Bart, and Mr. Burns getting the child labor laws repealed so he can make more money by having the children of Springfield work at the plant — care to guess who takes Homer’s job? There are lots of sight gags and callbacks to various TV episodes, you can hear the characters’ voices while reading the dialogue and — honestly — these stories are better than anything I saw the last time I watched The Simpsons. I haven’t seen a new episode of the show in years, though, so maybe the comics are mirroring a Renaissance of the TV show. I kinda think not; this is where the true spirit of The Simpsons I know and love seems to be these days. Right here in the Bongo Comics.

Also maintaining the true spirit of comics is Dark Horse Presents 3 — at least if you define that true spirit as being “tell stories in an innovative way that takes full advantage of the medium, be entertaining, have a ‘wow’ factor and offer a variety of stories.” DHP is straight up and down killer stuff, with the notable exceptions of Concrete (I’ve never liked Concrete, though, so I’m no judge) and Howard Chaykin’s Masked Man, which has been a huge disappointment to me. There’s sci-fi here (Dave Gibbons’ interesting if slightly shallow Treatment, the much more gripping Rotten Apple by Sanford Greene and Chuck Brown), fantasy (Richard Corben’s absolutely Corben-esque Murky World) and modern confessional indie comics (Carla Speed McNeil’s Finder). I’ve touted my Corben fixation quite a bit in this space, so let me say that I was stunned by McNeil’s Finder. I drifted away from what I rightly or wrongly deem the “cutesy indie comics scene” a long time ago, because I could only watch people reshape their diaries so many times, but this installment of Finder really got to me. It’s a simple story — young man Jaeger carries an old woman on his back through the city to get her to her family in time for the birth of a new baby — but there was something deeply personal nestled inside it that made it resonate. Namely, the woman tells Jaeger, “We’re all time travelers if we live long enough” — my own grandmother ended a lot of stories with a phrase very much like that, and I dropped the comic when I saw it/heard it again after all these years. It’s been a long time since I got the chills reading a comic, and it was welcome indeed. I would have never picked up McNeil’s work before this, but thanks to DHP, I suspect I’m going to look into her body of work. We clearly have something in common on some level, and I aim to find out what that something is.

Also, Jim Steranko’s ultra-hard boiled noir story, Red Tide, has been re-colored and one chapter is included herein. I’m not really a fan of the noir stuff, but HOLY COW is this thing phenomenal. This is the Ur-noir story told in a manner that is unique to comics. It pays homage to the classic Raymond Chandler/Damon Runyon/Mickey Spillane years of the field — our private detective here is named Chandler, and the plot is either borrowed from or influenced the film D.O.A. (I’m ignorant of the facts, educate me if you know) — but Steranko’s masterful technique makes this thing fresh as a daisy. Lip service is often paid to Steranko just because of those 20-something issues of S.H.I.E.L.D. he did 40 years ago, but it’s this sort of heavy-duty, brain-melting draftsmanship that makes other artists shake their head in disbelief. Page 8 of the story (52 in the issue) exhibits a use of Venetian blinds filtering a light source that will cause your mind to reel in its complexity — for sheer beauty of a fixed image, Steranko has no peer.

Hey, it’s 3 a.m. So much for brevity. I think it’s clear I’m absolutely deranged for Dark Horse Presents. This thing is a smashing success as far as I’m concerned, and it’s the best thing I read this week. And most promising of all is the final note on the letters page, which says that DHP is going monthly effective immediately. I know $8 is pricey for a comic book, especially a monthly book, but Dark Horse Presents is worth it. Boy, is it ever worth it.

-Paul

I didn’t buy that many books this week — only four, in fact. I anticipate next week will be even fewer. These summer crossovers/end-of-all-titles deals are really taking a toll on my reading habits, not to mention the impending cancellation of several books. This frequent diminishment is part of being a comic fan in the modern age. I have runs of Batman and Detective Comics that stretch for hundreds of issues, and my X-Men hoard is even larger. And yet now if I maintain 30 consecutive issues of a title, it feels like a big deal. I’m sure the fairly commonplace turnover of creative teams is part of my problem, but lately it feels more like the problem is the re-start/re-jigger/re-number thing companies want to do every couple years. Fatigue sets in much quicker when you’re constantly jumping back to the starting point.

And that leads right in to the final issue — of this incarnation of the book, anyway — of Legion of Super-Heroes. Number 16 is the big finale to the Saturn Queen vs. LSH battle that’s been building for the last four or five issues. Paul Levitz knows what he’s doing, he knows the Legion as well as anyone, and yet this felt like a let-down. I look back at the early issues of this run — a whole year ago, if you can believe that — and the book had momentum and pacing that implied the sort of slowly-developing, interlocking plots that come when a writer is committed to a lengthy stay on a book. I don’t know this for sure, but it feels like about six months ago Levitz was told to wrap it all up by August, and so he had to drop lots of plots and bang this out to meet the deadline. The result is a book that sputtered to the finish line instead of being a modern epic. We don’t get an inventive, super-sciencey and optimistic solution to the conflict or a soaring good-bye, just a weak left cross to end the threat and a bunch of table setting for the various Green Lantern titles. And it ends with the reminder that “Coming in September: A New Beginning.” What was wrong with the last “new beginning?”

I haven’t bought an issue of Hellblazer since John Constantine looked like Sting, but the Simon Bisley cover of 282 caught my eye. He also does the interior art in a much less-exaggerated style than the classic Biz look. I liked it. Peter Milligan’s plot is kinda so-so, a standalone story about Constantine going undercover in a creepy prison to root out a demon as a favor to his father-in-law. Honestly, it was perfunctory at best. I’m not a regular reader of the series, so maybe this is a bracing examination of Constantine’s character and how marriage has changed him. All credit to Milligan, though — he introduced every character efficiently so that even I knew who everybody was and how they relate to one another. Not enough writers do that anymore.

Conan: Road of Kings 7 continues my favorite Cimmerian’s long walk to the west. Mike Hawthorne is still on pencils, and to my great surprise, his lay-outs are much more dynamic and his weapons are more proportional. He’s still way too cartoony for my liking though; that splendid cover by Aleksi Briclot is much more what I want in a Conan comic. Roy Thomas’ plot revolves around Conan being blackmailed into joining a rebellious Aquilonian lord’s personal bodyguard, and then being stuck in the middle — with a kid, no less — when the King’s men uncover their plot. I’m all right with everything up to the kid. J.M. DeMatteis created a pair of juvenile sidekicks for Conan back in the early 80s, and the whole thing was terrible. Thomas has a much better grasp of what works and what doesn’t in Hyboria, however, so this may not end up being completely ridiculous. But then I look at that adorable stuffed bunny the kid carts around and I shudder to think of all the tender scenes that could come. Conan soothing her fears around the campfire; Conan solemnly swearing to return her to her home safely; Conan cradling her while she sleeps; Conan brushing her hair, and her reciprocating by putting his in hot rollers. Ugh, Conanny is the worst idea ever. Roy Thomas, please have this kid slaughtered by the midpoint of issue 8, and then let Conan wreak his bloody vengeance on the guilty parties.

And lest you think I’m anti-child, Tiny Titans 43 was how I wrapped up my reading, and I loved it. Superboy decides he wants a cape, which sets all the other Titans off in search of their own capes. I’m no fan of Superboy, but his confrontation with General Zod, Ursa and Non made me laugh. Robin struggles with Bat-Cow over the latter’s cape, Aqualad dabbles reluctantly in cross-dressing and the group orders new outfits from Sidekick City Costumes. It’s simultaneously ridiculous and eminently satisfying. Tiny Titans, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, is the best thing I read this week.

-Paul

Hey, does anyone else remember when summertime meant annuals? I realized today whilst perusing the racks that I can’t recall seeing an annual in I don’t know when. All right, so The Chronicles of Conan 21, a huge chunk of which is given over to a Conan annual, prodded my memory, but the point stands. Up until Eclipso summer — the second worst summer since calypso summer — annuals gave a book’s creative team the chance to play with a longer, not necessarily continuity-driven story that almost always was worth the price of admission. Who else fondly remembers that Avengers annual that pitted the Avengers against the Defenders (Silver Surfer, Valkyrie, Gargoyle and I believe Dr. Strange. EDIT: Nope, it was Beast), with the extra pages taken up by an honest-to-Jarvis copy of the Avengers charter and by-laws in their entirety? That issue was worth its weight in gold to a young nerdlinger such as myself, what with the points of procedure, and the sub-sections and the clauses. Now we get multi-title crossovers and Retro-Active specials to remind us of what’s been lost.

Speaking of crossovers, after what seems like three months of build-up, Spider Island finally gets underway with Amazing Spider-Man 667. It’s a testament to my belief in Dan Slott that I bought this book, and it’s a greater testament to his abilities for me to say that I li — I li-li-lik– I l-liked it. Now a huge chunk of Manhattan has the proportionate strength and agility of a spider, including a bunch of petty thugs and Peter Parker’s girlfriend, Carlie Cooper. Slott being Slott — a.k.a., a genius — he figures out a plausible reason to get everybody into a Spider-man costume, any Spider-man costume. Seriously, the last page features every version of the Spidey-suit since the 1960s, which kinda made me tear up a little. What can I say, the guy’s had some crap outfits over the years. Anywho, it’s a fun and chaotic story, and I can only wonder what I’m going to miss by not buying any related issues whatsoever — it’s ASM or nothing for me. Also, I am compelled by a slowly-awakening maturity to request that Humberto Ramos, an otherwise fine artist, cool it when rendering Carlie’s bosoms. She’s supposed to be (and other Spider-artists render her as) a normally-proportioned, cute girl. There’s no need to give her the jutting upper deck that literally every woman in comics outside of Aunt May has to lug around. The non-stop double-D warheads are not an enticement, they’re an embarrassment.

And on the topic of the Retro-Active series (it’s mentioned somewhere up there, honest), Green Lantern Retro-Active 80s is exactly the kind of comic book I miss. Len Wein and Joe Staton — JOE STATON! — deliver a John Stewart — JOHN STEWART! — story that’s about John’s relationship with Tawny Young. Sure, Sonar — really? Yeah, why not? SONAR! — shows up to make with some havoc, but the story is really about John Stewart’s principles and what it takes to trust another person. John Stewart is easily my favorite Green Lantern (then Kilowog, Hal, G’Nort, Ch’p, Guy Gardner and every other GL in all known space except for Kyle Rayner, who is a total bottom-burp), so I’m predisposed to enjoy this, but it really is a nice piece of character-driven — and character-revealing — storytelling. And that’s the frustrating thing about all these Retro-Active books; this is DC not only saying goodbye to the continuity and characterizations of my youth, it’s DC saying goodbye to this sort of storytelling completely. Everybody’s going to be younger, hipper, cooler and more likely to be an unattached single come September. Those sorts of two-dimensional characters don’t really inspire writers to take a closer look at their internal life or beliefs. How do you go deeper into the shallow puddle of “I’m totally awesome to the exxxtreme/no wife/no kids/no parents/nothing but enemies and come at me, bro!”? So, um, thanks (?) DC, for giving us all one last visit with your old characters before they become market-driving brand identities that skew well with the 18-to-25 demographic who aren’t currently buying comics. I guess. I’d kinda prefer something more like these sorts of brand-new stories that guys like Len Wein write, but you’ve got other plans.

On the other side of the Big Two divide, Marvel’s crossover d’jour “Fear! It’s Elf!” continues apace or whatever, and I dip my toes in it once or twice a month by buying Alpha Flight (and Herc). I don’t know how far Alpha Flight 3 progresses that story superstructure, nor will I ever know, but as the third part of a now eight-issue series (wasn’t this billed as a five-parter last month? I’m cornfused.) it seems to move things along nicely. Mac “Guardian” Hudson rallies his few troops to rescue the other members of the team from the evil Canadian government — that’s such an odd sentence to write, and I love it — while his wife, Heather “Vindicator” Hudson, sides with the corrupt government because she feels that because they stole her baby they’re her best chance to get the baby back (uncertain, citation needed). Puck’s back, Walter’s having trouble transforming into Sasquatch, Shaman is being preternaturally cool while helping to bust everyone out of government superprison, Snowbird goes totally sickhouse on some Canadian army men (just like Ann Murray would do!), and Aurora/Jeanne-Marie argues with herself while flying and ends up going full-on emo cutter. I dunno, I just like the characters and their interactions sometimes. Alpha Flight has always been such a weird, off-brand team of superheroes, all Canadian and removed from Marvel mainstream that I can’t help but fall in love with them all over again. I can’t give you a better or more rational answer than that.

Batman the Brave and the Bold 10 has an unusual point of view for a Batman book. Instead of giving us the usual Batman and superhero guest star delight, Sholly Fisch and Rick Burchett show us what life’s like for a professional henchman in the DC Kids universe, which is my preferred DC Universe at this point. Hapless lunk Joe runs from city to city, signing on with various costumed supervillains, and trying to stay ahead of Batman and the tax man. Fisch’s story is an economically current one, as Joe is doing cartoonishly criminal things to feed his wife and child because he can’t find a regular job. Fisch depicts working for Toyman and the Clock King as depressing as you’d think it would be, with Joe trying and failing to escape a life of crime. I’m not going to give away the end, but it’s about as satisfying and life-affirming a Batman story as Batman can have since all the comic book tough guys have taken over writing him. Sholly Fisch understands two vital elements of the Batman myth: The guy is compassionate, and he believes in doing the right thing. This story reaffirms that somehow, even in 2011, Batman as a hero is still a viable premise for a comic book.

Which brings us to Hellboy: The Fury 3 of 3. I lost interest in Hellboy a few years ago because all of Mignola’s stories were beginning to feel formulaic, but these past two years have revitalized my interest. The Fury has been promised for quite some time as the series that will force huge changes in Hellboy’s life and the whole Mignolaverse. I’m pleased to say that issue 3 does indeed usher in those changes, and it does so in an exciting and satisfying manner. And in three issues, no less. Not 29 (Spider Island), or 52 (DC’s Crisis in Finite September) or 300 (Fear Itself, I’m assuming), but three. Hellboy fights the Dragon, Ogdru Jahad, while all of England shakes under Ragna Rok, which means all of earth will be burnt and then re-sown. Hellboy is not fighting to save humanity as we know it, but fighting to establish a strong spirit for whatever humans emerge after the destruction of this world to follow and emulate. Mike Mignola and Duncan Fegredo deliver on pretty much every promise ever made in Hellboy. Hellboy behaves heroically, he remains true to his core beliefs (and those of Trevor Bruttenholm), and he refuses to give up on all that is best in humanity.

It’s disconcerting to see London being destroyed in a comic even as the real world London is being burnt up by protestors, but Fegredo brings an otherworldly quality to his images of carnage that allows for separation of facts and fiction. Also, this issue does not end quite how I envisioned it; my belief in the formulaic qualities of Mignola’s writing are completely destroyed by the end of this book, and instead flourishes anew the belief that he’ll do whatever is necessary to tell his story to the best of his abilities.

So even though this series finally answers questions first raised in that initial Hellboy limited series all those many years ago, that’s not why it’s the best thing I read this week. No, Hellboy: The Fury is the best thing I read this week because it told its tale quickly, with emotion and drama, and with real consequences evident for its titular hero, and I legitimately cared about what happened.

-Paul

So, according to a certain “newspaper” I read the other day, our friendly neighborhood Spider-man recently saved our equally friendly neighborhood Star Clipper.

Now, normally I’m pretty oblivious to current events, but this one was hard to miss. The only part that really bothers me about the whole thing is that I was actually there working that day, yet I have no recollection of seeing Spider-man or the danger that he supposedly saved us from. Still, he must have done a pretty good job because by the time I arrived the collateral damage was non-existent. Heck, if I didn’t know better I would have sworn that nothing had happened at all.

Still, as entertaining as seeing Spider-man would have been, I briefly met Firestar (who surprisingly was a little late to the party), and even got to pose for a picture to go in the Daily Bugle, decked out in my Multiple Man t-shirt no less.

All in all, it wasn’t that bad of a day, and it seriously helped mend some fences as far as Spider-man and I are concerned. I’ll be honest, he’s never been my favorite superhero. It’s not like Superman, who I sometimes dislike because he always comes off a little two perfect. If anything, Spider-man one of the most human characters in the Marvel Universe. He is a character defined by his past and his flaws, as all good characters should be.

The reason I have never been fond of Spider-man is because despite all of his great power and responsibility, his decision making skills have never been quite up to par. If anything, his life has been a series of poor choices, which so far have cost him his uncle, his first girlfriend, nearly his aunt on several occasions, and most recently his smoking hot supermodel wife and his future child.

I may be missing a few, but I think you get my point. That being said, Spider-man saving Star Clipper has done a lot to raise my opinion of everyone’s favorite web slinger. In fact, from what I’ve been hearing, there’s a lot Spidey’s been doing to turn his life around. Ever since the start of Big Time, he’s gotten a new job, a new girl, and a brand new bag of gadgets. All of this and more have finally been collected into a trade paperback that’s supposed to be released the first week of August, and I for one I’m looking forward to picking up a copy. After all, he saved my favorite store, the least I can do is read some of his more recent exploits. Who knows, maybe Spider-man is finally maturing. Crazier things have happened in the Marvel Universe.

Until next time.

-Brent

Since in my last blog I talked about Empowered, this week I’ve decided to talk about another series that is equally sexy, but of a decidedly different tone.

Sky Doll is an exquisitely crafted science fiction epic originally printed by Soleil Productions in Europe and brought to the States by Marvel. It has everything that mature comic lovers can hope for; it’s dark, sexy, and full of surprising insights. The story is set in a world originally divided by two priestesses of opposing philosophies, one representing the spiritual side of love, called Agape, and the other representing physical love, named Lodovica. However, eventually the balance of power tipped, and all hell broke loose.

When the dust cleared, one power stood instead of two. The world became overtaken with vice and carnal desire, and anyone who worshipped the priestess Agape became reviled as a heretic. Best personifying this brand new regime are creations known as sky dolls, life-like androids without rights, resembling a young female, who exists only to serve the state’s desires. Noa, the main character of this odyssey, is one of these sky dolls, although she has qualities that make her a bit…different, including strange flashes of memories, sudden bursts of power, as well as a personality and desires of her own. With the help of two “missionaries,” Noa travels the universe in search of some greater reason for her existence.

The story progresses from there, taking some interesting twists and turns along the way, none of which you’ll hear from me (I’ve given away enough as it is). What I will say is that you would be hard pressed to find a fictional realm like this one. In the world of Sky Doll, religion, consumerism, and science function as a single entity, and differences in spiritual philosophies can determine the shape of entire worlds.

However, appearances can be deceiving, and the more you learn about the world Noa lives in, the more difficult it becomes to distinguish the white hats from the black, and the tormentors from the victims.

Personally, I like a story that keeps me guessing. If you feel the same way this is definitely a series worth checking out.

-Brent