It’s a big week full of exciting comics. And that’s just what I needed. December is a busy, busy month even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. I think it has something to do with the end of the year looming — it’s a lot of psychological pressure. Comics are your most cost-effective safety valve. Just try to find a psychiatrist who’ll work for $3.99. Anyway, to the comics!

First up this week is Elric: the Balance Lost 6. I was giddy with excitement for this series when it started, and then my enthusiasm flagged after the first few issues. Mostly because there was a lot of to-and-fro and parallel story set-up inhibiting the characterization and world-building I was anticipating. Chris Roberson gets around to an all-out action issue this month, and Francesco Biagini acquits himself well with it. Hawkmoon and Elric face creeping Chaos with swords swinging, while Corum and Eric Beck ride Splendid Mane (a massive, planes-striding horse) in search of Tanelorn. Finally, after six issues of exposition and one step forward/one step to the side to take the same step forward storytelling, we actually have real progress. I don’t feel like I could tell you anything about these characters just based on what we’ve seen in these issues, however, and that bothers me. Where’s Elric’s sardonic wit? Where’s Hawkmoon’s dour pragmatism? What kind of guy is Eric Beck, other than a game designer? A little action is great (and much appreciated), but I think this series has been a wasted opportunity so far. Roberson has pursued an ambitious, complex arc in favor of focusing on one character, and as a result there isn’t one character who stands out — not even the title character.

Now, Valen the Outcast, I know who this guy is. He’s the King of Oakhaven, and he’s dead as a door nail — but that ain’t stopping him from walking around in search of revenge on the guys who killed him. It’s a sword & sorcery book and this first issue only costs a dollar, so of course I was gonna check this out. Michael Alan Nelson and Matteo Scalera do a fine job in setting up the book’s premise — undead warrior wants to kill the guys who killed him — and show us who he used to be (honorable and chivalrous) and who he is now (kinda cold and single-minded). I liked it. I like it enough to give it a six issue tryout, in fact. I think this could be an interesting take on the whole “hard man seeks vengeance story,” and I’m grateful there’s no vampire subtext in his undeathlyness — I’m almost as weary of vampire stories as I am zombie stories.

The Defenders 1: I just like writing that. Defenders 1. Matt Fraction and Terry Dodson take the 70s strangest superhero team and update it while retaining the strangeness. That’s about the best thing I could hope for from this book. Hulk (Bruce Banner) convenes the team because he’s somehow made a Black Hulk (what is he, part Green Lantern?) and he wants to stop it from destroying Europe — and THE WORLD — but can’t get close to it or it will feed on his gamma radiation. So Dr. Strange gets the gang back together on Hulk’s behalf (Namor and Silver Surfer), with Iron Fist and Red She-Hulk (Betty Ross) for extra punch. I’ve been bored by Fraction’s Thor, but I adored his Iron Fist run, and this is way more like Iron Fist. There’s a strong current of humor, each character is clearly defined (most notably, Dr. Strange is a casual Cassanova, which I didn’t expect), and each page has a footer below the art that advertises something in Stan Lee speak. These little notes disappeared in the ’70s, and I’ve missed them. Defenders is pure superhero fun, and that’s a prized commodity in these grim days. I believe this is only a limited series at this point, but (fingers crossed), if sales are strong enough it could be spun off into an ongoing title. Sure, Fraction will leave after eight issues, but David Anthony Kraft is still alive. I’d love to see him resume scripting this book.

The Raphael micro-series is a spin-off of IDW’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles revival, and it has one scheduling problem. This issue is set chronologically after issue 5 of the TMNT book, and we’ve only seen four issues of that as of this week. It’s a minor hiccup handled with minimal spoilers, as Brian L. Lynch and Franco Urru give us a tale of Raph going out to bust heads with Casey Jones and running into another mutated animal. Raph is not my favorite Turtle, but Lynch gets into his motivations deeply enough to make me re-think that ranking. Here he’s more than a punch-first hot-head, being revealed instead as someone who’s reticent and more than a little reluctant to share anything about himself with anyone. It’s an interesting interpretation and well handled. If you’ve been reading the TMNT series, this is essential. If you haven’t been reading it, this is a pretty fine starting point. Everything that’s happened so far is summarized quickly, and Raph and Casey still make a compelling, quippy team.

Speaking of quippy, Amazing Spider-Man 675. Spidey and ex-girlfriend Carlie team up to out-think the Vulture — and that’s pretty much it. After the high stakes of Spider Island, it’s nice to return to a simpler, quickly wrapped-up story. Dan Slott, of course, fills this issue with great moments of characterization and forward-looking plot teasing. Is Carlie completely over Pete? It doesn’t seem like it. Is Pete over her? He seems on the fence — but wouldn’t you be with Mary Jane waiting nearby? I’ve made no secret of my desire to see One More Day completely undone and forgotten, and two issues ago I thought we were moving swiftly towards that possibility. Now? I’m not so sure it’s in the cards. But the beauty of that is that I’m not too worried. Dan Slott has proven that he knows what he’s doing with these characters, and I trust him to keep me entertained and reading. Amazing Spider-Man is one of my favorite books, and I’m excited to see where it goes next.

O.M.A.C. 4 is slightly less entertaining. Don’t get me wrong, Keith Giffen’s pencils are still worth the price of admission, but the plot seems to be in a holding pattern. Dan Didio and Giffen continue the well-established dynamic of this series, as a monster/supervillain appears and fights O.M.A.C., while O.M.A.C. fights against Brother Eye’s control of his life. The monster-of-the-month deal is getting a bit tired – we have nothing to offset it at this point, so it’s starting to feel rote rather than exciting. O.M.A.C. just struggles along with this issue’s problems (personal responsibility) and lets Brother Eye take the lead again. I think it’s time for Kevin Kho to take control of his own personhood, or at least let Kevin have some sort of argument – something more than “No, don’t, I refuse,” etc. — with Brother Eye the next time commandeers his life. Right now, he’s starting to feel like a bystander in his own life, and he’s not much of a hero. O.M.A.C. is a barely-thinking murder machine, which is awesome to watch, but that doesn’t provide much for a reader to latch on to. I still enjoy reading this – it’s the best of the New 52 by far – but how long can you read any enjoyable formula before it becomes formulaic?

Princeless 2 brushes aside all doubts and questions, however. Jeremy Whitley and M. Goodwin’s comic deals with Princess Adrienne’s very simple plan. She intends to free every princess who’s currently imprisoned in a tower waiting for a Prince Charming to come save them, because she’s figured out that you don’t need saving if you can save yourself. First on her list of people to be rescued are her sisters, who are each in their own tower guarded by their own dragons. Mike Harvey recommended this book to me, and I have to thank him for that. Here’s a book that features a strong female character who’s nobody’s victim or sidekick, and she’s not a tormented heroine or merciless avenger. She’s a young woman kicking butt and taking names, with her goofball of a dragon helping out. Whitley’s crafted a believable teenage heroine who relies on her own confidence and chutzpah to be the change she envisions, and she’s smart, determined and funny as well. It’s a sort of fractured fairy tale, in the best possible way, and it’s easily the best thing I read this week. Imagine that – a boy liking a comic book that stars a woman who’s neither sexy nor stupid, but rather a complex human being.

-Paul

DC’s New 52 has introduced a lot of new readers to DC and seen some other readers coming back after a long hiatus from reading comics. While the new #1 issues provide fresh starting points, not all of the story lines feature complete reboots. Here are some pre-New 52 collections that new and returning reader might want to check out:

Unlike most of the new DC Universe, it doesn’t look like too many of recent Batman storylines have been altered by the reboot featured in the New 52 titles. This trade, first released in 2007, features both the the start of Grant Morrison’s at least somewhat relevant run on Batman as well as the introduction of Bruce Wayne’s son Damian. While we still have to see how much of the events that composed Morrison’s epic tale of the Caped Crusader are still in play, Damian Wayne’s place as the current Robin is unchanged. Morrison’s somewhat gonzo tone may be different that what is featured in current Bat-titles, his tales provide some great surprises that have effects that can still be felt in the New 52 Batman world.

Originally published in issues #654-860 of Detective Comics, Elegy provides a great introduction to current Batwoman. The two tales in the collection feature her first adventure as a solo lead character as well as her origin story. Rucka’s writing gives the reader as a superhero as grim and fearsome has Batman in stories that combine Gotham’s well known criminal element with a side to the city that is less often seen: the supernatural. There isn’t a artist better suited to bring these stories to life than J. H. Williams III. William’s art is both haunting and breathtaking. When DC launched Batwoman as an ongoing series, Williams returned as both artist and co-writer. As a result, readers will find that Elegy perfectly transitions into the current ongoing title.

When reader’s jumped into the new Green Lantern #1, they found the villainous Sinsetro wielding the power of the Green Lantern instead of previous ring-bearer Hal Jordan. The popular Sinsetro Corps War storyline played a big role in establishing the current multi-lantern corps landscape that the Lantern books currently explore. For readers interested in getting some insight into the history between Hal Jordan and Sinsetro or that of the corps of Yellow Lanterns that the pair have been battling in recent issues, this is the storyline to read. Like J. H. Williams relationship with Batwoman, Green Lantern mastermind Geoff Johns is behind both “Sinestro Corps War” and the current Green Lantern series which makes the two Lantern storylines fit together perfectly. Truthfully, though, it doesn’t look like much as changed at all from the reboot and the Green Lantern saga John’s has been composing since Green Lantern: Rebirth back in 2004.

-Nick

Quite a haul this week, and comics from all points of the genre spectrum. It’s nice that there are so many options at the moment — I came home with everything from super-science-sci-fi to gritty western, with a humor book as my aperitif. Oh, and I maybe bought a viking book as well.

Legion of Super-Heroes 3 wraps up this first arc, and it’s not an earth-shaking, explosive tale that changes the way I look at comics at all — and that’s a relief. Instead, Paul Levitz and Francis Portela deliver a solid conclusion to what’s actually been (so far) a rather prosaic action comic. Again, no complaint intended. Part of the team figures out how to best the rogue Daxamite, Renegade, while another chunk of the team works to get there in time for the clean-up. Honestly, after the past six months of DC doing the “we’ve got our backs against the wall/oh no!, there goes the wall!” it’s nice to read something that hearkens back to a simpler time. A time when costumed, attractive people with suprahuman powers beat up other costumed, powered bad people while I rooted for the good guys. See how simple it can be?

Hawken 1 is a family affair (father/son duo Tim and Benjamin Truman co-plot while dad handles the art alone) that’s not very family friendly. Our main character, Hawken, is a grizzled old range rider who can see and talk with the ghosts of all the people he’s killed, and they kinda sorta help him track down other people for him to kill. This issue features Tim Truman’s glorious artwork in black & white (despite the ad for this very issue that’s in the back of the issue claiming this is in “full color”), and he mostly depicts a bunch of people getting shot by Hawken as he mows down a gang of troublemakers in a small mission town. No fooling, a whole lot of people get shot in the face in this title — it’s pretty amazing. Tim Truman fans (and we are legion) will find much to like here. There’s the western scenery, the curmudgeon-with-a-gun lead character, a lot of flat-out nasty humor and a bunch of face carnage. One issue and it’s already vaulted into my top ten favorite books.

I’ve been enjoying Planet of the Apes by Daryl Gregory and Carlos Magno, but several times I’ve mentioned that I’m really just waiting for the world-breaking Ape vs. Human war that has to happen. Last month set the stage for this inevitable battle, and issue 8 here sees it flare into a massive street battle. Apes and humans start killing each other wholesale, with pretty much the worst possible outcome for our heroine, Sullivan, who’s way too pregnant to be sniping ape soldiers off the hulls of steam-powered tanks, but hey — a lady’s got to do what she’s gotta do. I’ve avoided reading anything about this book because I don’t want to see spoilers, but I know that none of the humans are going to make it. Still, by the final page I was hoping for a last-minute escape for … I really can’t tell you because I don’t want to spoil it. Let’s just say that Gregory and Magno appear to be fine with a no survivors policy and leave it. Ugh.

Captain Victory 1 is the second spin-off from Dynamite’s Kirby Genesis project, and it has several strong Kirby signposts along the way — maybe too many. Hero Captain Victory comes from a family background of pure evil (Orion), he’s a warrior with computer back-up for all systems to the point of near-instantaneous resuscitation (OMAC), he hangs around with a big cat-man (Kamandi) and his main villain wears ridiculous, vision-impairing headgear (everything Kirby ever did). Kirby liked to recycle ideas and he had his touchstone concepts, but Sterling Gates hews too closely to imitation rather than inspiration. But it’s a first issue, so maybe some of the more overt elements are dropped over time — my fondness for the works of Jack Kirby cause me to be generous towards Dynamite’s noble project. I mean, there’s like 14 Wolverine books of middling quality. I think we can handle a few Kirby-inspired books trying to find their feet.

Jason Aaron and Marc Silvestri’s The Incredible Hulk 2 is an unusual comic, and not just because Silvestri was helped out by a cast of thousands (www.comicsalliance.com/2011/11/11/incredible-hulk-2-11-artists-silvestri/). I’ve been out of the Hulk loop for a bit, but Aaron’s caught me up on all the major developments in two issues. The big development is that Bruce Banner is Bruce and Hulk is Hulk, and never the twain shall meet. Except that Secret Agent lady von Doom (no relation) wants to enlist Hulk’s help to bring down Banner, because that guy’s gone cuckoo. In the space of a few pages, Bruce goes from trying to make his marriage to Betty Ross-Banner work to injecting junk in his brain in an effort to recreate his Hulkiness. We’ve seen a lot of versions of the “they’re separate/they’re the same” Hulk storyline over the years, but Aaron’s added a new (to me) wrinkle in the idea that Hulk is Banner’s major scientific achievement, and Banner will do anything to recreate the initial experiment and continue to develop the technology. Outside of the comic in the rational world I’m not quite convinced that this twist makes sense, but while reading the comic it makes complete sense. More importantly, I find this idea intriguing and entertaining. On the surface it’s just another “we’re getting the Hulk back together!” storyline, but Aaron makes it feel new. And Silvestri (& company, I guess?) draws a mean-looking Hulk; this is maybe my favorite Hulk since the Dale Keown years.

The Amazing Spider-Man 674 sees the last little bits of the Spider Island story put to bed, but Dan Slott and Giuseppe Camuncoli throw us right into a new storyline involving a very old Spider-foe (hint: the villain’s name is spelled out on the cover). Actually, Slott picks up several older threads (Kingpin and Hobgoblin, Pete’s love life, Spidey’s reputation as a menace) and commences to setting up several possible directions for future stories in that effortless, highly entertaining way he has. I’ve tried to bring this to your attention before, but are you aware that we’re witnessing one of the greatest acts of creation in comic books, you name the era? Dan Slott is writing a comic book for the ages in ASM, and you’d better recognize. Also, Camuncoli works Peter’s freakish anatomy with a verve that’s astonishing in this issue. He fights some cops in powered armor and it’s a joy to behold. You should really be buying this book.

Conan: Road of Kings 10 concludes Roy Thomas’ “big political trouble in little Aquilonia” story with great flair, mostly because fill-in artist Dan Panosian treats this book exactly as it should be treated: Like it’s the greatest action comic on the stands. I cannot stress how much better this book is when Mike Hawthorne isn’t the artist. Panosian renders a great escape for Conan that involves him swinging from a chandelier and launching himself out of a castle with grace and suitable damage, and then gives us a fantastic Conan vs. giant lizard battle in a stink-pit. It’s too bad Hawthorne returns next month, but soon after we get Brian Wood and Becky Cloonan and Belit. I can’t wait.

Sergio Aragones’ Funnies 5 features the legendary cartoonist sharing the details of his third or fourth career as a professional soundman on several nature documentaries. Those Dos Equis commercials with the Most Interesting Man in the World are clearly based on Sergio’s life, because the guy’s apparently done everything (very well), and he can make even the act of filming penguins interesting. SAF has the loose feel of the most indie of indie self-confessional comic books, but also has the peerless talent of Aragones the artist and Aragones the writer. He’s a natural-born storyteller, and his medium is the comic book. Plus, he’s funny. Absolutely a must-buy book every month.

Northlanders 46 makes me very sad. Only four more issues after this one and my favorite comic of all time is dunzo. But Brian Wood is going out like a true viking, with a mountain of corpses in his wake and an ocean of blood about to come crashing down on an unsuspecting land. In this instance it’s Iceland about to get dunked, as Brida Hauksson prepares to avenge herself on the Belgarsson family for their recent assassination attempt — and also because Haukssons always kill Belgarssons. Brian Wood writes powerful, realistic female characters, but Brida is a piece of work even for him. She’s tenth century Iceland’s 1% — rich, powerful, entitled — but she’s also somewhat powerless because she’s a woman in a man’s society. Also, Iceland is converting to Christianity all around her, and she’s bound and determined to stay true to her gods and goddesses, a contrary loyalty that makes her even less powerful. And yet there she is, planning retaliatory raids and killing guys in the name of honor — and because it’s the family business. So we have a fully-realized woman who’s holding together an entire clan and keeping the faith while everyone around her throws in the towel, and she stabs random old ladies as a matter of course (that old lady totally had it coming, by the way). This current arc is my first exposure to the art of Declan Shalvey, and I really regret that. His attention to detail is pitch-perfect. Look at that creepy helmet with the eye-holes up there; hell, look at that scrawny Icelandic pony. It’d be easy to draw your standard heroic horse – there’s all kind of reference for that – but he gets it right instead with a stunted scrub-pony. Guh, I can’t believe this book is canceled. Is it because Wood pays so much heed to the role of women as people rather than sex objects, is that why this book was axed?

Anyhow, my favorite comic book, Northlanders, is the best thing I read this week. There was a lot of great stuff in contention this week — Hawken, Spider-Man, Sergio Aragones’ Funnies, Conan — but there’s nothing like Brian Wood’s Northlanders as far as I’m concerned. And soon there will be nothing like it at all.

-Paul

It is late at night, and I’ve been reading comics. You know what that means … it’s time to play The Best Thing I Read This Week!

The very first thing I read this week was Peanuts 0, from Kaboom!, because I was extremely curious about how this was going to work. Can a comic version of Charles Schulz’s Peanuts work without Schulz’s oversight? I don’t want to start out negative, but I can’t think of a way to end this sentence that comes across as positive. One of Charles Schulz’s great talents as a storyteller was his economy. He could do more with four panels — with one panel — with one figure in a single panel — than most artists can do with an entire book. He had broken down his style to the bare essentials so that each panel delivered the maximum narrative punch. Also, his comic timing was exquisite; you never see a telegraphed joke in a Schulz story, not even with something as well-worn as Charlie Brown kicking a football. So of course, the Kaboom! series features creators breaking all sorts of “Schulz rules,” for lack of a better term, in their attempts. Individual stories go for multiple pages, the time between jokes is too great, and none of few jokes feel right for Peanuts. They’re not terrible, but they’re certainly not Peanuts-grade. And then the error is compounded by Kaboom! mixing in classic Peanuts strips, so you can see exactly what’s wrong and how it’s supposed to work. The first original story, “Carnival of Animals,” takes five pages to get to some sort of a punchline, and along the way we get lots of words, most of them explaining the action we see in the panels. Then we get a one-page Schulz classic, which features seven panels and one word balloon and it’s so effortless funny that part of the humor stems from how easily it all hangs together. Look, there’s a reason the Schulz estate didn’t hire a talented ghostwriter to continue the daily strip when Schulz died, and this comic proves that was the right decision.
/looks up at torrent of words
I may be taking this a smidge too seriously. But c’mon — you’re not gonna find someone to effectively emulate all the things Schulz could do.

Thor: The Deviants Sage 1, is a limited series by Robert Rodi and Stephen Segovia that features Thor having to recover a purloined evil device of cosmic destruction in order to save the world — that’s a classic McGuffin right there. The thief is Ereshkigal, who I guess had a run-in with Thor in the past since he recognizes her right away. She’s part of Jack Kirby’s Deviants mythos, which means the Eternals will figure in here somewhere, which means we’re heading in a positive direction as far as I’m concerned. Rodi scripted my favorite Thor series of the past few years (“For Asgard,” which was over-long but still good), and Segovia is a dynamic talent, but Ereshkigal is wearing a ridiculous costume for a woman so well-endowed up front, and that’s saying a lot in modern comics.

Once again, a pretty hefty dose of comics this week. These past few weeks I’ve come right out at the bell swinging at DC’s “New 52,” which has been tiring for all of us. I thought for a nice change of pace I’d start with a Marvel book, particularly one that’s made me a little grumpy these past few months.

FF 9 continues Jonathan Hickman’s fascination with slowly — some might say imperceptibly — exploring the minutiae of conversations between Reed Richards, Nathaniel Richards, all the other surviving Nathaniel Richardses of the multiverse, Black Bolt (via the first of his five wives, Medusa) and various representatives of alien races. I’ve been unhappy with FF since issue 1. I think Hickman has lost the plot, I think he’s wasted all the excitement and enthusiasm he built in the preceding two years of Fantastic Four by killing off Johnny Storm in a whirlwind of hype, I think he’s mishandled Ben Grimm’s role in the book, and most of all, I feel like he’s been wasting my time and money with his incessant water treading. Issue 9, however, made my stomach drop. There’s a scene where the League of Fantastic Four Supervillians of Days Past turn on Dr. Doom, and he flashes that Doom menace right up until the moment one of the future Reed Richards fastens a brain-destroying technocollar on Doom, telling him that they’re now stalemated. Some day Doom will turn against this Reed, and when he does, Reed’s gonna activate the collar and give Doom massive brain damage. Many months ago, I wondered where this exact version of Doom picked up his brain damage … THAT’S RIGHT. Hickman just dropped the other shoe that’s been hanging in time and space for about a year. Now I begin to see, Mr. Hickman. There’s the long view in comics (a standard six-month arc), and there’s the l-o-o-o-o-o-o-ng view (Hickman’s current feat). Everything about this book just became more interesting not just going forward but RETROACTIVELY. This is how you do an effective time travel story; make the reader experience some chronological distortion of their own.

OK, now we can talk about a New 52 book. The Savage Hawkman 1 (by Tony Daniel and Philip Tan) is the one book in this whole magilla I’ve actually been anticipating. I’m a Hawkman fan, I’ve enjoyed several iterations of the character over the years and I don’t believe any of ‘em have been the definitive Hawkman — at least not for me. Carter Hall has one of the most tangled, Crisis-bollixed back stories of any characters in the DCU. He’s been a Thanagarian space cop, an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, a deathless human warrior and DC’s all-purpose yeast (he’s always rising from the dead, you see). The New 52 is a chance to finally pick a Hawkman origin story and tell it. So of course, Daniel starts right off with Carter being a tortured, grizzled vet of a superhero who’s so sick of his Thanagarian Nth metal wings and harness that he burns them in a fire, but soon comes to learn that the Nth metal has bonded with his body and now he can go full Hawky whenever he wants. So is he human or Thanagarian? Dunno. Is he frequently reincarnated? No idea. The bad guy, Morphicus, (terrible name) claims Carter is “not of this world,” to which Carter responds “Born and bred in the U.S. of A.” So he’s both alien and earthling, or unaware of his true origin and long past (the latter implied by Morphicus’ inability to overpower Carter’s “strong lifeforce”). Based on this first issue, Tony Daniel has opted to retain all the clutter and back story of the Old 52 Hawkman, which makes no sense at all. I thought the plan for this restart was that anybody could pick up any DC book and have an idea of who the main character is and why they should care. I’ve read lots of Hawkman stories, and I’m uncertain who this Carter is, and it sure don’t feel like I care. This book better get so great so quickly or so help me, I’ll … um … I’ll … Well, I guess I’ll have no DC books in my rotation.

Take a look at the cover of Amazing Spider-Man 670: J. Jonah Jameson as Spider-Man. Now listen carefully: As awesome and tingly as that cover makes you feel, what actually happens inside is so much better. This is the ultimate Marvel Team-Up story, as Spidey and the man Spidey refers to as Spider-Stache pair up and fight the Spider Island infestation. I know Ultimate Spider-Man has been garnering all the press lately, but this is the Spider book of your dreams. Everything is in this: comedy, tragedy, action, quips, a spittle-flecked rant from JJJ, a giant spider-humanoid with a familiar push broom mustache — all comics should be this much fun. Dan Slott, you have done the impossible with this book. I’m reading and enjoying a comic story that’s so big it comes with an issue checklist.

See, look at this. Incredible Herc 8 is a Spider Island tie-in, and I continue to buy it because my Slott love runneth over. Actually, Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente have some good stuff going on in this storyline. Herc has been infected by the Spider Virus and now has Spidey’s powers, and as we saw last issue, immediately developed an interior monologue that caused him to question the responsibilities of such power in a mortal. Don’t worry, he drowned out the voice with a keg of beer, so now he’s a half-drunken Spider-Herc fighting the X-men as the Spider Virus tries to force him to do bad things. He beats the X-men, too, thanks to a little help from Arachne (of Greek mythology). And then, these two Greek spider-centaurs take a trip to Sexxxytown. Look, this is a Teen + rated book, and I don’t want to sound prudish, but Herc-Spider and Arachne-Spider getting it on in front of Wolverine, Storm and Emma Frost is kinda creepy — Emma being totally into watching isn’t helping any. More superhero stuff and less arachnid sex would be appreciated.

Matt Fraction and Olivier Coipel wrap up their first arc on The Mighty Thor with issue 6. Fraction takes his tale of Galactus and Odin (and Silver Surfer and Thor) fighting over the World Seed and works in the novel idea of using the Destroyer as the problem solver — ha!, no I’m kidding. I’ve seen more Destroyer in the past two years than I did in the previous twenty. He’s approaching Joker levels of overexposure. Anyway, Odin kinda sorta strategizes his way out of the fight, aided by Loki’s trickery (he hides the World Seed in another dimension) and by Pastor Mike of Broxton, Oklahoma. Honestly, for a fight advertised as “Silver Surfer vs. Asgard,” it’s the philosophical discussions between Pastor Mike and Silver Surfer that redeem this book. The pastor’s pleas for non-violence appeal to the Zenn-Lavian buried deep in the Surfer, and he ends up making some huge career choices based on Pastor Mike’s argument. Mike ends up transformed as well. Still, the book ain’t called Surfer/Mike — last issue had Thor doing some serious Galactus bashing, which was appreciated, but I’d have liked the big lug to take a more active role in his own book this month. And what happened to Sif? She just sort of hung around in the background of this one, like she’s bored with saving her homeland. Sif ain’t the shy, retiring type — she also needs to be playing a bigger part in this book.

I wouldn’t consider myself a huge Wizard of Oz fan — I’ve never read a single one of the actual books — but the lady of the house is, so I picked up Marvel’s Wizard of Oz book on her behalf at last year’s Free Comic Book Day, and I ended up enjoying it. Eric Shanower and Skottie Young’s new Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz number 1 is exactly the kind of comic that could make one a fan of the whole phenomenon. Young’s art is vibrant and exciting and captures the magic of Oz, Shanower’s characterization of Dorothy and her second cousin, Zebediah, is charming, the story of Dorothy’s unexpected return to Oz is tension-fraught and interesting — this is a dandy little comic book, and it’s all ages. If you buy it and don’t like it, you can always give it to a nearby kid.

Warlord of Mars 10, by Arvid Nelson and Stephen Sadowski, jumps right into the next Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom novel, Gods of Mars. I don’t like Sadowski’s art as much as I liked Lui Antonio’s run on this book, but this is not bad. Dejah Thoris and John Carter’s son, Carthoris, is a young hatchling trying to clear his father’s name of murder (that’s the Civil War Virginian in him — he’s never even met his father, because John left Barsoom before the kid hatched), and he’s teamed up with Tars Tarkas, who’s quite the badass warrior Thark in this one. ERB’s plots are direct and whip-fast in developing, and Arvid Nelson has ably captured that unstoppable sense of forward motion in this series. Warlord of Mars is not what you’d call a prestige book — it’s all about action and lots of it, and that’s fine by me. In just under a year, Warlord of Mars has become one of my favorite books to see in my hold pile, and for good reason.

So what’s the best thing I read this week? That’s a tough one. Amazing Spider-Man continued its streak of rollicking, feel good comic bookery, but FF made so many seemingly dead-end plot points leap into place and point the way to “HOLY MOLY” that it feels like it has the edge. I’ll say this for FF: After finishing this issue, I wanted to immediately go back and read the preceding two years worth of comics to see what clues I missed. I think that has to be the tie-breaker. Any comic that makes you want to re-read everything up to the current issue has something going for it. From somewhere in the future, FF 9 materialized and immediately became the best thing I read this week. Which is great for me personally, because I was contemplating giving up on this book at the end of the year. Now, the FF and I are good for at least another couple years, or until Hickman leaves.

-Paul

There is a lot of weird parallelism in this week’s stack of books. Two beginnings, two presumed endings, two John Carters of Marses, two Bongo comics — it’s a little like a cosmic coincidence, times two. Let’s put on our mottled Dr. Strange gloves and dig into our mystical conundrum, shall we?

Of the beginnings, one is a mistake. I bought Legion Lost 1 because I wasn’t paying attention and assumed Paul Levitz was writing this one. He is not. Fabian Nicieza scripts Legion Lost, which seems to pick up exactly where one issue of Flashpoint left off, which I didn’t bother to read. Timberwolf, Dawnstar, Wildfire, Gates, Tellus, Tyroc and two Legionnaires I don’t recognize are thrown from the 31st century into our era as they pursue Alastor, a bad guy who’s carrying some sort of contagion back through the timeline. It’s your standard “heroes from the future have to adjust to our time/customs/atmosphere” plot, and those two Legionnaires I don’t recognize are dead before the issue’s over. This one registers a pretty solid nothing on the excitement scale. Nothing about it feels like a Legion book which means it has very little to offer fans of LSH, and as a superhero book it reads like a very bland imitation of your choice of a half-dozen X-men storylines. See, this is why I don’t normally buy anything Fabian Nicieza writes.

Paul Cornell and Diogenes Neves’ Demon Knights 1 fares a little better, probably by comparison. I bought this solely for Etrigan, and also for a little swords and sorcery action. It’s surprisingly meh, however. We see Merlin bind Etrigan to Jason Blood — excuse me — Jason of Norwich on the night Camelot falls, and then we jump forward to when Jason is bumming around the Dark Ages with Madame Xanadu. Their soon-to-be enemies are Mordru and I think Morgan Le Fay (she’s never addressed directly, but that’s always Jason Blood’s enemy), but before we can get into that, Jason and Xanadu have to conveniently assemble with five other uniquely gifted stock characters in a pub so they can become, as Cornell notes in his in-book interview, “the Medieval Magnificent Seven.” Please note that that’s his answer to the question, “What new things are you doing with these characters?” Also note that the Magnificent Seven is a rip-off of Seven Samurai. So Demon Knights is a rip-off of a rip-off, and it shows. Of the very small sample size of New 52 books I’ve read so far, this seems to be the underlying problem: There are very few “new” elements, just proven clichés applied to old characters in new ways. I hope Savage Hawkman disproves this theory …

It’s oddly synchronous that in this month of all-new DC Comics, Dark Horse’s attempted relaunch of the Gold Key characters would stagger to a halt. Or at least that’s what the rumors are; I haven’t seen an official word from Dark Horse. There’s one more Turok on their schedule after this month’s issue 3, and nothing else for any of the other titles through the end of the year, so draw your own conclusions. Turok has been fairly enjoyable as far as Native American dinosaur hunters fighting Aztecs goes, but three issues since Free Comic Book Day — 2010 edition — makes it hard to build a relationship with the characters. Doctor Solar 8 is definitely a full stop, as the good Doctor bests his dangerous foe (and inadvertent creator) Nuro in the main feature and discovers that Nuro is responsible for his creation in the back up. Solar and Magnus were the best of the relaunched bunch, both throwback comics that showed the usual Jim Shooter wit and verve, as well as both exhibiting a far-greater-than-average comprehension of what a comic book story should be and how it should be constructed. I know a lot people have grudges against Shooter because of things he did or didn’t do in the past, but I’ve never met the guy. All I know about him comes from his writing, and that guy seems to believe intelligence and heroism are the stuff of life. A little bit of humor doesn’t hurt either. Believe me, I’ll miss Doctor Solar and Magnus a lot more than I’ll miss Demon Knights in a six months.

And whattya know, here come my two John Carter comics. Marvel debuts John Carter: A Princess of Mars 1 of 5 by Roger Langridge and Filipe Andrade, while Dynamite wraps up the first arc of its Warlord of Mars with issue 9 (by Arvid Nelson and Lui Antonio). I’ve regularly praised the Nelson & Antonio book for its adherence to the pulp nature of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ original novels, and the finale delivers the sword-slashing, race-against-time cliffhanger I expected. Nelson had some pacing difficulties in the first two issues or so, but once he got Carter to Mars (and picked up Antonio as penciler), Warlord really established itself as a comic that delivered every month. Fortunately, Dynamite is continuing the book, so there should be more thrills a-coming.

I love Roger Langridge’s writing, but I’m not so sure Marvel’s John Carter is going to do it for me. I think Andrade’s art is striking, but it’s not right for Barsoom. Everybody’s a little too skinny, and the Tharks aren’t menacing enough. Which leads us to the second problem with the book — this is an all-ages title, and Barsoom needs to be more red in tooth and claw than that rating will allow. This is a fine comic book, but it’s no Warlord of Mars, if you get what I’m saying. Slightly sanitized, all John Carter has going for it is the fantastic scenery and a web of coincidences that hold the plot together. That’s not a criticism of ERB’s work, but a point of fact: atmosphere is everything in the Barsoom stories (literally, in the first novel), and the more atmosphere that’s lacking, the less interesting the book is. If you want the real Barsoom experience, Dynamite’s is the version you should be reading.

Now, about my twin Bongo set. Simpsons 182 is another solid effort, as Marge starts selling a spot remover formula on Springfield’s Home Shopping Network and Ralph Wiggum acts as Bart’s conscience at Principal Skinner’s insistence. Ian Boothby’s book-length story has at least a half dozen solid laughs in it, which is all you want from a humor comic. Sergio Aragones’ Funnies 3 (how did I miss issue 2?) also delivers laughs, a couple of them at Sergio’s expense. His story about a comic book he developed through much effort but that came to naught still somehow allows Sergio to tell the story he originally wanted to tell — and then the punch line reveals that as brilliant as Sergio is, he occasionally coughs up an idea so terrible that his friends continue to tease him about it years later. There are more spot-the-difference puzzles (I’m 0-for-5 on these) and one-page gags as well, and another slice-of-life story from Sergio’s youth in Mexico that demonstrates his basic human decency and zest for life’s funny twists. I dunno, I love the guy and his comics make me happy. Lately everything I’ve added to my pull list has ended up cancelled within three months, so I’m reluctant to add this now, but I hate that I missed issue 2. I shall have to be more vigilant, because I want this book to last.

As difficult as it is to believe, I actually bought some comics this week that have no doppelganger. Alpha Flight 4 is a pretty good version of the Canadian superhero team everybody in Canada currently loves to hate. Fred Eaglesham has toned down Marina’s costume, Mac Hudson has to do some inspirational Canadian stuff (he’s their Captain America, you know — he’s even been dead once or twice himself), and even Northstar finally comes around and rejoins the team (he needs the help in order to free his boyfriend, who’s currently a prisoner of the evil Canadian government). There’s some stuff I don’t understand and don’t care to (it’s a Fear Itself crossover, ’nuff said), but on balance this is a solid if not spectacular superhero book. Fred Van Lente & Greg Pak have done a good job balancing all the characters’ storylines (I’m enjoying Puck as a conspiracy theory buff living the dream of being right about most of his crackpot ideas), with the possible exception of Sasquatch’s “football-induced brain damage” plot. They’ve left open the possibility that the government doctors are lying to him, but I don’t see a good way out of that corner. If the doctors are lying, then the storyline is unnecessary; if they’re telling the truth, that’s a moment of depressing reality injected into my escapist literature. I just don’t know that I like either option.

Amazing Spider-Man 669 is rife with things I like, however. Just as the Spider Virus is cracked by Reed Richards, it enters its second phase, which involves transforming people into actual spider-faced bipeds. Dan Slott has Peter step up in a huge way, using his recently-learned martial arts powers to save Carlie and impress her in the act. It’s elements such as this that make me appreciate Slott’s brilliance even more. He keeps a lot of plates spinning at all times, and then dips back to remind you of plates he set up a few months ago — and he does it while maintaining an exhilarating forward motion at all times. Ohh, and guess who’s been infected with the Spider Virus? I’ll give you a hint: his/her initials are JJJ. You know, for a multi-issue, cash-grab, mega-event storyline, the Spider Island ain’t so bad. (This is the only book in the chain I’m reading, however.)

Batman: The Brave and the Bold 11 is another all-around good time story from Sholly Fisch, but with art by Dario Brizuela rather than Rick Burchett. Brizuela approximates the house style well enough, and Fisch’s time-travel story about Batman meeting Jonah Hex and Ra’s Al-Ghul in 1879 Gotham is another story that wouldn’t have been out of place in the 50s. It’s a lot of fun — that G-rated Jonah Hex is rather courteous, which is hysterical if you’re familiar with Jonah’s normal personality — but I missed Burchett’s art. There’s something Sprangian about his page layouts and poses that would have given this story an extra oomph. It’s still a fun read, and recommended for people who don’t care about any of the new Batbooks — this series is more fun than Bats has been in a long time.

Taking all that into consideration, I’m torn between Warlord of Mars and Amazing Spider-Man. Warlord fulfilled its early promise, told its story truly and kept me entertained for nine months. Amazing Spider-Man has also done all that, plus there was something joyously goofball about Peter resorting to some very old tricks in order maintain a secret identity in a city full of people who can now pass for Spider-man. I think that has to tip the scale in Spidey’s favor. All right, so Amazing Spider-Man is the best thing I read this week. That’s becoming a more frequent refrain around these parts, isn’t it?

DC REBOOT IN FULL EFFECT! 78 NEW NUMBER 1’s THIS WEEK, 96 MORE TO FOLLOW NEXT WEEK. Not really, but it sure does feel like it, don’t it? When I walked in the shop this week and saw all those shiny new number 1’s spread out into the new graphic novel shelves, I experienced a sense of … I don’t know what the word would be. I was relieved after the past 60 days of speculation and hand-wringing to finally see the comics at the center of the hubbub, but then I saw all those names — J.T. Krul, Tony Daniel, Judd Winnick — and I made the same face I did when medicine was forced down my throat in my childhood. And I’m not saying this to be a contrarian or just to fight against the current, but after flipping through a few of them, I finally made up my mind about this whole deal.

My decision is this: I don’t think this gimmick is enough to make me start reading books I wasn’t reading before. Listen, I’ve probably only bought ten Superman books in 30 years, so I’m not gonna commit effort and money towards him now just because his costume makes him look like Bruce Springsteen ca. 1977 on a lunch break. And I like Batman, but I like the Batman that existed in the 40s and the 70s through early 90s, not anything they’ve done with him in the last 20 years (and he’s in way too many books, but whatever). Instead, I ended up buying the books that star characters I like who haven’t had a title in a while. And that means Static Shock 1 and OMAC 1 this week. I don’t need or want the hype to check these books out — I want the stories.

Scott McDaniel and John Rozum do an OK job with Static Shock. There’s definitely a whiff of classic Spider-Man in Static, and that’s fine by me. And McDaniel and Rozum waste no time throwing you into Virgil Hawkins’ life — he’s the super-smart, sciencey high school student of your dreams who’s interning at S.T.A.R. Labs while superheroing in his spare time — but I felt a little lost. It’s been a long time since I read a Static comic; some more background would be nice (why’d the Hawkins family leave Dakota? What’s the deal with Virgil’s sister?), but overall this is a solid first issue.

OMAC was a huge leap of faith for me. On the one hand, I love OMAC, and I love Keith Giffen (that’s two fingers on the hand), but on the other, I hate Dan Didio as a writer; I couldn’t even stick it out for the third issue of his Metal Men, and that was Metal Men. OMAC’s been done a lot of ways, and the only one that works is the original Jack Kirby take, that of a reluctant hero who’s being lead around blindly by Eye in the Sky and starts to question if he’s doing the right thing. This version of OMAC is not only close to that conception, but the pacing is very much in the Kirby spirit, with a ton of forward momentum driving a streamlined plot at warp speed. It’s also impossible to understate the importance of Giffen’s art; this is some of his most Kirby-inspired work, right down to the layout of the panels. I love the look of this book so much. Simply seeing that Giffen cover was enough to make me buy this one. I suspect I’ll stay with it as long as Giffen’s involved — just like I would have pre-relaunch.

Elric: The Balance Lost 3, by Chris Roberson and Francesco Biagini, further confirms my suspicion that Roberson is trying to cram too much into this series. This issue features a lot of two-page chunks of the various characters moving closer to a convergence — Elric, Corum, Hawkmoon and Beck, if you’re keeping score at home — with none of them getting enough time to distinguish one from the other. Look, I’ve read a lot o Moorcock; I know these guys. Elric should be gloomy and morose, Corum should be vaguely optimistic, Hawkmoon is a haunted man who refuses to give up hope and Beck should be unflagging in his enthusiasm to defeat the odds. All of those characterizations flicker almost into sight at various points of this issue, but none of the characters get a moment where an unfamiliar reader could spot the differences. I applaud Roberson’s ambition and his commitment to telling a story more in the style of current Moorcock, but the title character of this book should be playing a more prominent role. If I’m a little foggy about what’s going on here, I can’t imagine what it’s like for someone who’s not read a lot of Moorcock.

Kirby Genesis 3 has fewer of those sorts of problems, but it also suffers slightly from sporting an over-large cast, few of whom are familiar on sight at this point. However, Kurt Busiek has a stand-in for us in the person of normal guy, Kirby, who’s trying to catch up to and aid the girl he loves (who’s currently possessed by the alien spirit of The Swan). Kirby’s confusion about the who/what/why of it all mirrors our own uncertainty, so the pervasive sense of “wait, what?” is actually a narrative device. Like Elric, this is another big, fast moving story, but Busiek is doing a better job of reminding us who every character is and what their status is within all the groups. Again, Jack Herbert is a fine, clever draughtsman when it comes to the pencils, but then Alex Ross punches up a page or two and it’s so much more vibrant and eye-catching that I — once again — ask him to take this on full-time as penciler. Or bring Giffen over to take care of this bad boy.

Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thoris 6 continues the extra-pulpy adventures of the future Mrs. John Carter by having her encounter the Pirate Queen of Mars and her underlings. One thing worth pointing out is that these (non-canon) comics star a much more active and competent heroine than the original Edgar Rice Burroughs’ novels. I believe it’s the second novel in which Dejah spends a year trapped in a slowly rotating prison because she just didn’t jump out the doorway when she had a chance. Arvid Nelson’s version of Dejah is much more capable and determined, and that’s the big appeal here. She’s never a victim in this book, and she’s never waiting to be saved — in fact, she’s the one doing the saving. I’m sure given another issue or two, she’ll turn the tables on the pirates and once again rescue her father and grandfather, and then save all of Helium through her bravery and intelligence. In fact, I’m counting on it. That’s the appeal of pulp fiction — you want the payoff, and the creators want to give it to you.

That sure sounds like the best thing I read this week, and it almost was. But Randy Stradley and Douglas Wheatley are doing such a phenomenal job with Star Wars: Dark Times (number 2 of 5) that they’re going to pip Dejah Thoris at the post. Haunted and hunted Jedi Das Jennir continues his race across galaxies with Darth Vader hot on his trail, but Jennir still finds time to protect and serve the public at large. After the very good but-fractured-by-scheduling-problems Blue Harvest series (five issues in 20 months), getting this issue six weeks after the first felt like a miracle. Stradley may be the finest Star Wars scripter currently working, able to work in the big characters like Vader and the Emperor while using expanded universe guys like Das Jennir to keep things fresh (John Ostrander is his only rival, but Ostrander doesn’t have a SW book right now). How great is it to see the Emperor scold Vader for continuing his vendetta against the remnants of the Jedi while there’s an Empire to consolidate and intimidate? Very great — this feels like the real Star Wars here. Jennir’s up to his beard in it again, as his traveling companion, Ember, has duped him into helping her with a great big fat lie. There’s drama, action, interesting characters, old favorites and — AND — some of the best sci-fi art going thanks to Wheatley (his Vader is one of the all-time greats). I’m admittedly biased towards Star Wars, but I’m also very demanding about what’s presented as being “Star Wars” these days, so believe me, I’m as surprised as you are that Star Wars: Dark Times is the best thing I read this week.

-Paul

I suppose it’s inevitable as DC’s line grinds to a halt that we’re all going to be talking about what it is the “New 52″ means, and why we love it or loathe it, and a bunch of other stuff that boils down to angrily shaking our fists at people we’ve never met. At the moment, I’ve convinced myself to take the high road, and opt for the “wait and see” method of judgment; until these relaunch titles come out, I don’t really know what I feel about them, right?

Of course, then I read the Shazam! 100 Page Spectacular 2. Or more specifically, I read co-publisher Dan DiDio’s message on the last page and immediately wondered why I’m even bothering with this company. Didio spends a little time patting himself on the back for figuring out a way to scale back the company’s production schedule these last few months, and how they’re going to be able to keep the same number of titles on the shelf by padding their output with the Retro-Active titles and reprint collections such as this here issue of Shazam. Dear Dan: No one who reads and enjoys comics cares about the minutia of making a publishing schedule — we want good, fresh stories about our favorite characters. If you think this is the sort of information that gets us excited about your books, I shudder to think what your OMAC series with Keith Giffen is going to be about — will he be the One Man Accounting Corps and spend most of his time developing new actuarial tables?

Anyway, Shazam 2 reprints four 1998-era issues of the series by Jerry Ordway and Dick Giordano, two guys who know how to make a comic book about characters. I wasn’t crazy about this era of Captain Marvel, so I’ve never read these stories — and they’re OK. Not great, mostly because I was always bothered by the teenage versions of the Marvel family alter-egos. I believe the boundless optimism of Captain Marvel works best when you remember that’s a kid in that body, fighting crime and believing wholeheartedly in big-picture ideals precisely because he’s a kid. I’m trying to maintain a smidgen of that optimism for myself come September, but as often as DiDio misjudges what comic fans are interested in (BUTTONS! POKER CHIPS! SYMMETRICAL PUBLISHING WAVES! COMICS WITH NO FEMALE CHARACTERS AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN EYE CANDY!) and then boasts about his ability to be so off base, it’s going to be difficult to hold that course.

You know what the antidote to that is, right? Great, character-driven comics. Dungeons and Dragons 9 is just such a comic, and I say that knowing full-well that I was the only person in all of Star Clipperdom to buy issue 8 upon its release. John Rogers and Andrea De Vito continue to use classic storytelling elements such as strong characterization, clear conflict, foreshadowing, humor and steady doses of action to make a fantastically fun comic every month. Human warrior Adric Fell rushes from crisis to crisis, this time falling into the thick of a worlds-spanning power play by an evil giant, and his reluctant ally is the father of the young lady he’s currently … how to phrase this delicately? … boning. This awkward situation is the source of much of the humor, mostly because enchantingly caustic halfling Bree Three-Hands keeps offering terrible advice to Adric. Is it the title and all the associated “weak nerd” connotations that are scaring you people off this book? Because this is a great team book, and you’re all missing out.

A strange thing has happened in Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thoris 5. I’m completely inured to Dejah’s scanty “two-coins-and-a-hanky” outfit at this point — it doesn’t even register as totally ridiculous anymore. Maybe that’s because Dejah is so busy pummeling rump in this issue, saving her father, grandfather, hometown and the lives of countless others through her willingness to engage in hand-to-hand combat with a 50-foot tall automaton powered by her enemy. Arvid Nelson’s first arc has been nicely pulpy throughout, but this issue finally gives us everything. Dejah’s the heroine of her own story, we get a clear-cut victory and a bit of pathos, and Carlos Rafael’s art is very nice. As far as pulp comics go, this series hit all its marks and then some.

Also pulpy in the best fashion is Star Wars: Dark Times Out of the Wilderness 1, a Randy Stradley and Doug Wheatley adventure set in the period shortly after Revenge of the Sith. Darth Vader is on the trail of a Jedi who escaped the slaughter, and it turns out to be Dass Jenner, the star of the Blue Harvest series I enjoyed so much despite its haphazard release dates. Dass and Ember, the former madam he helped in Blue Harvest, are on the run, knowing their lives are in danger but unaware that someone like Vader is hunting them. Before it’s over one of them has come clean about a rather sizable lie they told to make their relationship more convenient, a mysterious commando is revealed to be on their trail and Vader — sweet, malevolent Vader — is gaining on them. Stradley certainly knows how to construct a plot, but Wheatley’s art is probably the real star. He draws a mean, mean Vader, and that goes a long way to establishing Star Wars credibility in my book. Hopefully, this arc is wrapped up before the end of the year — I hate when Dark Horse puts their Star Wars titles on hiatus for seven months in the middle of a series.

Chris Roberson and Francesco Biagini’s Elric: The Balance Lost 2 is a bit more problematic. As I mentioned last month, I love the character and I’m a huge fan of Michael Moorcock’s body of work in all its permutations. E:TBL shuffles between Elric, Dorian Hawkmoon, Prince Corum and our modern-day Eric Beck, which I think is diverting the narrative into too many streams. If you’re not familiar with the Moorcockian idea of the Multiverse and the many incarnations of the Eternal Champion, is an issue as jumpy as this one going to lure you in? I ask because by the time this issue was over I felt like we’d spent a lot of time hopping from one foot to the other without really moving forward — and I know who these people are and how they fit together. However, I like how this issue introduces Eric’s destiny and role in the story, and we get a nice bit of action from Elric. And therein is the other complication; if you name your book “Elric,” I’m always expecting him to be the star of the story, and so far he’s not really been anything other than the most recognizable name in an ensemble cast. I could do with some more Elric in my Elric comics, is what I’m saying.

Roger Langridge’s Snarked! 0, however, has no snarks in it whatsoever and yet I read it with blissful delight. Inspired by the poetry of Lewis Carroll, Snarked stars Wilburforce J. Walrus and his dimwitted sidekick, the carpenter Clyde McDunk, as they set out to eat, mooch and connive their way to a better life. Wilburforce channels W.C. Fields and Reid Flemming in his caustic witticisms and snide asides, McDunk is pleasingly dense, Princess Scarlett is bossy and the whole thing has the feel of E.C. Segar’s classic work on what became the Popeye comic strip; Popeye makes a cameo in one crowd shot, in fact. This being a zero issue the story is all set-up, and only eight pages long to boot. That matters not one whit; it’s full of jokes, Langridge’s art is dynamite, and the book is filled out with reprints of Carroll’s relevant poetry (“The Hunting of the Snarks” and “The Walrus and the Carpenter”), an activities page with word hunts and connect the dots projects, pages from Princess Scarlett’s diary and a facsimile reprint of the front page of the local daily paper, “The Jabberwock,” which assures us that “You Too Can Believe Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.” This is an exercise in silliness worthy of Lewis Carroll, and it was hands-down the best thing I read this week. I laughed so hard at this exchange:
McDunk; “I’ve never once been savaged by a tiger!”
Wilberforce: “Well, we live in hope…”

that I had to lie down for a minute. All comics should be this exhaustingly delightful. I can’t wait for issue one to arrive. And I will live in hope on that DC front, as well; if my hope is misplaced, maybe DiDio is the one to get savaged by that tiger.

-Paul

In all the world, there is one constant. The sun coming up in the east? No, someday the sun will burn out. The one constant is me and Northlanders — Brian Wood will write it, and I will love it and rave about it in this space. Prepare for the worst: The sky’s gone out.

Northlanders 41 Thor’s Daughter is a standalone about Birna, a 14-year old girl in the Outer Hebrides (those islands off the west coast of Scotland), having to fend for herself now that her father is dead. It opens with her killing a man, then flashes back to why she’s killing him, and then resumes in the moment after the killing. The fractured narrative diminishes the forward momentum of the story, but what’s worse is that it feels like a page is missing. How does Birna go from being helpless and on her own to having her father’s henchman rally around her? No idea. I’ve read this three times trying to figure out how exactly she got to the opening page, and I still don’t know. I shouldn’t have to create her greatest moment of character development in my head. Marian Churchland’s art is brilliant, however, and David McCaig’s washed-out color palette looks like it was done with colored pencils, and it’s almost enough to save the whole thing. I expect an awful lot from Brian Wood as a storyteller, so this may be a case of my expectations not being met. If you read it and loved it, lemme know. Brian Wood is now 40 and 1 on my scorecard.

I was bummed by the Northlanders let-down, so I immediately read Tiny Titans 41, because Tiny Titans always lifts my spirits. The Fast Issue stars Kid Flash and the other fast titans running around, racing one another and looking for lemonade– don’t let its simplicity fool you into thinking it’s not a good time, because it most certainly is. Kid Flash behaves like your typical little kid who’s eaten three pounds of Sweet Tarts for breakfast, shouting inappropriately and getting excited about stuff like sharp pencils. How sharp are they, KF? “Flashpoint” sharp. D’oh! Blue Beetle also makes an appearance, and Art Baltazar’s rendition of him makes me wish there was an ongoing monthly for this version of the character, with Baltazar naturally penciling the deal.

Kirby Genesis 1 doesn’t have quite the same crackle that the zero issue had. I think that’s because the zero issue was an exercise in “Look at this! And this! Can you believe this?,” while this issue is more concerned with introducing our human characters (Kirby, young college-age sci-fi loving smart guy, and Bobbi, his beautiful/smart/confident best friend since childhood) and setting an actual plot in motion. Kurt Busiek’s script does these things well, and it’s nice to see so many words per page — few comic writers bother to actually write this much anymore, and I prefer a big script. Jack Herbert’s art is fine, but as soon as Alex Ross comes in with a page it just makes me wish Ross was doing all the art for this. I think that would be true for anyone Dynamite selected for the job — Ross’ art attracts attention like few artists’ work does.

I believe I bought Alpha Flight when I was younger solely because of Guardian’s costume — that red and white maple leaf suit is the business. I’m pretty sure I bought Alpha Flight Fear Itself 1 because look at Guardian on the cover. The Fred Van Lente/Greg Pak writing team sets up an interesting set of problems for the team in this, namely, the Alphas are all alive again and beloved by Canada, and Canada’s Prime Minister just activated a law that makes the Patriot Act look like a lax babysitter’s rules by comparison. I ain’t crazy about the new x-treme Marrina, but that’s balanced somewhat by the return of Sasquatch and the depiction of Northstar in a loving, committed relationship with his boyfriend, Kyle. (Sidebar: Is Kyle’s unseen sister Stevie the same Stevie who used to teach dance at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters back in the 80s? [Interior Sidebar: Man, Chris Claremont was awesome when he was at the top of his game.] It’s a stretch, sure, but the two teams do have shared history. Also, whatever happened to Stevie and her bum knee? Old guys who lost a decade demand answers.) I do wish this book was not a Fear Itself tie-in, because I don’t want any part of that, but I suspect I’m gonna buy all eight of these. Partly out of nostalgia, yes, but also because I think the Van Lente/Pak team has proven they know how to work with Marvel’s lesser characters and make them interesting.

Will it surprise you to know that I find Conan to be interesting? (Note to Jim Mosley: ZIP IT.) Island of No Return 1, by the unexpected team of Ron Marz and Bart Sears, is meat-and-potatoes Conan. He’s in trouble with the town guard, he fortuitously meets up with two beautiful warrior women who bail him out, and in return they demand he accompany them on a thieving job that requires his expertise. This has the feel of any number of highly enjoyable Savage Sword of Conan stories, and I’m fine with this — I welcome this in fact, because it’s not another adaptation of an REH original. Bart Sears still has that heavy-lined style that can veer from highly dynamic to overly-blobby all on one page, but he gives Conesy a suitably brutal face that I find suits the big Cimmerian very well. A solid effort from a pair of creators I haven’t checked out in quite a while.

Dungeons and Dragons 8 was actually on the racks this week, so I feel safe reviewing it since anybody can buy it. And I would urge anyone who likes their sword & sorcery leavened with humor to check it out, whether you’ve played the world’s greatest RPG or not. John Rogers and Andrea Di Vito dump our well-balanced party (racially and class-wise) into the Feywild, the mystical wilderness realm where time and space operate differently than here in this world. Rogers really has a firm grasp on how these characters relate to one another, and there’s none of the “Ye Olde Tough Guy Smacke Talke” that sometimes crops in these things. This is a serious and action-packed adventure yarn that just happens to star elves and dwarves and gnomes and such. It’s worth noting that after two issues of fill-in artists, Andrea Di Vito’s return is very welcome. His crisp and lively action scenes are easy to follow, and he’s adroit at depicting a range of expressions other than “open mouth screaming” or “open mouth horror” or “open mouth shock.” D&D is unpretentious and unrepentant entertainment, and that’s worth celebrating. In fact, it’s the best thing I read this week.

-Paul

Henchmen used to be a big deal. In decades past, a villain was only as good as his henchmen. The villain’s role was to simply come up with a fiendish plot for world domination. Then all they would have to do was lord over their buffoonish henchmen as they carried out their ruthless schemes. Of course, henchmen are much easier for superheroes to defeat, and a few whams and bams later their evil plot was foiled and peace was restored to the world. Eventually, super-villains realized this weakness and started carrying out their diabolical acts on their own, making the henchman a relic of the past. This week, Paul, Brent, Fleet and I are going to honor those forgotten masters of evil and discuss our favorite henchmen in comics.

My favorite henchmen would have to be in Skeletor’s roster of minions from “Masters of the Universe.” Maybe it was the fact that Mattel needed plenty of henchmen to fill out their toy product line, but it seems like Skeletor has the best list of sheer ridiculous goons in the history of henchmen. There were so many weirdo characters that attacked Eternia from the peaks of Snake Mountain:

My 3 personal favorites include:

Beast Man – This is your stereotypical henchman. Skeletor’s right-hand servant, Beast Man is a dolt who takes the brunt of Skeletor’s abuse when his evil schemes fail. Consequently, he takes out his rage of the animals he summons and one day hopes to overthrow his nagging master.

Tri-Klops – I don’t know if I can think of a henchman stranger than Tri-Klops. This minion has a rotating helmet with 3 different cycloptic eyes, none of which are really effective at pulling off Skeletor’s evil plans. Yeah, Tri-Klops might be able to see well in the dark or see through walls, but he’s just not evil enough to ever be anything but a henchman.

Stinkor – This one is all in the name. Stinkor is the humanoid skunk henchman who is the evil master of odor. Though the character never made it on to the Filmation animated show, the Mattel toy was actually chemically treated to smell musty. Skeletor was really digging in the bottom of the barrel with this stinky henchman, but he might be my personal favorite.

With all these bizarro henchmen, it’s surprising that Skeletor never conquered Eternia. However, with Man-E-Faces, Orko, and Ram-Man among He-Man’s sidekicks, the heroic warriors give Skeletor’s henchmen a run for their Mattel money.

-Jon